Luigi: Fall of the Mushroom Kingdom
by Delorean Jones
Summary: A realistic telling of the Mario Bros story through the eyes of Luigi. Full of Easter eggs for the fans.
1. Chapter 1

**CHAPTER 1: MARIO PARTY**

"Surprise!"

The sudden cacophony of voices and noise-makers nearly gave me a heart attack. I should have let Mario open the door. Sure, it was our birthday. And a milestone one at that. The big four-oh. But as we pulled our run down van up to the drab, brick office of Mario Brothers Plumbing after a long, hard day of work under the sinks and in the toilets of Brooklyn, New York, there was no indication that several dozen people were congregating inside, waiting to challenge my cardiac health. There was no more than the usual amount of vehicles parked along the road. And the office had no windows - just a door, a high-bay, and a fading sign with our company name and an embarrassing crude cartoon of me and Mario on it - too short and too fat.

I let Mario enter first. Everyone was wearing overalls and fake mustaches. The overalls had become part of the identity of the Mario Brothers after we started making those terrible local TV commercials. Sure, the commercials had boosted our brand but only because they were so bad people started sharing them on social media as a joke. Making the overalls from the commercials part of our uniform had made us more recognizable out in the real world. As much as I dread being recognized as "that guy from those commercials", I actually do like the overalls. They're comfortable, practical, and sturdy. Mario suggested getting hats to match. Maybe even putting the first letter of our names on them. That's not going to happen!

As I looked around Party Central, I realized I didn't know most of these people. I recognized a few though. Some usual customers. Our former secretary, Nancy. But really these were all Mario's friends. The ones I didn't recognize must be as well. This was really a surprise party for Mario. My heart sank when I looked up and saw the Happy Birthday banner that confirmed my suspicions. The actual purchased banner said HAPPY BIRTHDAY MARIO but a couple sheets of plain white paper were stapled together and attached to the end of the banner and had written upon it in black marker, AND LUIGI. I was an afterthought. It had never occured to me until that very moment that maybe I always was just an afterthought.

I scanned the crowd to see if Chuck was here. Chuck and his wife, Beth, offered to treat me to Buffalo Wild Wings for my birthday. Chicken wings and a Jets game on the TV sounded like a fine 40th birthday party to me. But maybe that was just a distraction. Maybe Chuck was in on this whole party. I could only hope. My phone vibrated in my pocket. It was a text from Chuck. "So, how's 6:30?" it said. Nope. Chuck wasn't here.

"Hey Louie," This was Guillermo, my barber for the last five years, shaking my hand. He obviously didn't remember my name. "Happy birthday, man! Tell your friends that if they come by the barber shop any time this month and say the Mario Bros sent them, they'll get ten percent off."

"But what if they want more than ten percent off," I said. "What if they got like this Bob Ross fro thing going on and they're trying to impress a girl who's into bald dudes? Are you only going to cut ten percent?"

"Louie, you think I'm made of money? I can't afford to take off more than ten percent! Ten percent is a steal!"

"It's a joke. I meant cutting only ten percent of the person's hair."

"Why would I only cut ten percent of someone's hair"?

"Nevermind. It was just a joke. Thanks for coming to the party."

I patted his shoulder and moved on.

Mario was being heartily greeted by everyone. They were laughing and sharing inside jokes. Mario made friends easily. He was outgoing, positive, friendly, and carried himself with a sort of pride that can't be called arrogance - as if he knew he was more than just a chubby plumber from Brooklyn like me. What did he know that I didn't?

I sidled up to Nancy. It was always fun to talk to her. She was a happy-go-lucky, heavy-set woman in her 60s. And about as gullible as Guillermo was dense. It was a shame we had to let her go. As much as she lightened the mood around the office, we just couldn't afford her. Not to mention she was terrible at her job. Right now, she looked ridiculous in that fake mustache.

"Hey Luigi, guess who I am?" she asked. "It's-a me-a. I'm-a Mario!" She was imitating the strong Italian accent my brother and I shared. Born in Italy and raised in New York by a man who spoke Italian in the house, the accent was hard to shake.

"Wait, don't tell me," I said. "You're one of the Blues Brothers, right?"

"What? No. I'm Mario!"

"Oh, I get it! Because of the accent and the mustache! That's great! Are there any more mustaches? Could I have one?"

"Sure. I'll be right back." She couldn't have been more excited to oblige.

Mario came by and put a Solo cup in my hand. "Happy birthday, Little Bro," he said.

"Who you calling little, Shorty?"

"You, Baby Bro."

"Just because you think you have a memory of Mama saying you were born a few minutes earlier, does not and cannot mean that we were conceived at different times. You are not older than me. But I will always be taller than you, Little Bro."

Nancy came back.

"Lucky you," she said. "We had just one more. Here you go."

I peeled back the sticker from the adhesive backing and placed the faux mustache over my real mustache. "How do I look? Do I look like Mario?"

"You wish you looked like me," said Mario.

"Hey, Mario," I said, all joking aside. "I'm gonna head out in a few minutes. Chuck invited me to watch the game and have dinner."

"Luigi, you can't leave a surprise birthday party people threw for you. Tell Chuck to come over here, if he wants."

"Mario, they didn't throw this party for me."

"They did too. They threw it for both of us. At least stay for the cake."

I sighed. "I'll stay for the cake - if we do that soon. But I'm leaving after that."

"Ok, Ok. That's fine. We'll do the cake soon, I'm sure. Did you see the cake? It's got a go-cart on it."

"It's got a go-cart on it because they all know how much _you_ love go-carting."

"But you love go-carting too."

"But do _they_ know that?"

"Why so glum? It's your birthday. You can have your cake and eat it too, Little Bro!"

"You're right." I sighed again. "I'm sorry...Little Bro."

Mario turned back to the others who were vying for his attention.

"You like go-carts too?" asked Nancy. I just chuckled.

"Hey Nancy," I asked, "did you ever turn in your key after you left?"

"No. I'm sorry. I didn't realize it at first but when I did, I knew we could use it for this."

"I thought as much. So, you organized this party?"

"Well, sorta?"

"I don't know what that means. Is that a question?"

"Well, I helped. It was actually Pauline's idea. But don't tell Mario." She suddenly seemed very concerned about that.

"I won't. Is Pauline here?" I admit, I was kind of excited about the prospect.

"No way! How awkward would that be?! Their break-up was horrible for both of them!"

"But she helped plan this?"

"Just 'cuz they broke up doesn't mean she doesn't care."

Just then, I happened to back up into a small table we kept against the wall. I turned around to make sure nothing fell off the table. I steadied the paper weight that was wobbling and noticed a letter from the company that owned the office space we rented. It had already been opened. I took the letter out and read it. Apparently we were late on the rent. So late, in fact, that if we didn't pay up in the next two weeks we were to be evicted. I quickly put the letter back in the envelope. I didn't want Mario to see that I had read it. This was not the time to discuss the matter.

I glanced his direction to see if he noticed me. He was on the phone. Why would he take a call on the work cell after hours, during his own birthday party? After ending the call, he called for everyone's attention.

"Thank you all so much for coming out to celebrate with Luigi and I on our 40th birthday," he began.

"To the Mario Brothers!" someone shouted. Everyone else shouted their agreement and lifted their cups.

"But unfortunately," continued Mario, "I just received a call from Delvecio's  
Ristorante. Some famous food critic is coming by tonight to do a review but the plumbing is all backed up and they're having to shut the restaurant down until the problem can be resolved. If you know the Mario Brothers, you know we can't leave someone hanging when we can actually do something about it. Stay. Enjoy the pizza. Carlos says it's on its way. But me and Luigi gotta run. We'll be back as soon as we can."

There was a unanimous, disappointed, "awww" from the crowd.

I approached Mario and spoke to him so that only he could hear.

"Mario, what are you doing? Rocco Delvecio is a gangster," I said.

"Those are just rumors."

"You know as much as I do they are more than rumors. He makes friends easy. Especially with Italians. And once he makes friends, he starts asking favors. And you know how the mob feels when you can't return a favor. They don't like it! And they let you know it!"

"Do you know anyone that that's actually happened to?" asked Mario.

"Chuck said one of his steel workers got mixed up with him. The next thing you know, he takes a vacation to Miami and dies in a boat accident."

"Luigi, maybe he's a gangster. Maybe he's not. That's the thing about rumors. You just don't know. But I do know for a fact he's a legitimate cook in a legitimate restaurant and he needs our help."

"But you just told me I couldn't leave the party. And now we're both leaving?"

"Leaving a party to help someone in need is a lot different than leaving a party thrown for you because you prefer other people's company."

It was no use talking to Mario. Once he saw a need, he had a compulsion to help. It's just who he was. Most would probably say it's a good thing. But living with it my whole life, I could see the down-side to it.

Back in the van and on our way to Little Italy, I found an opportunity to talk about the letter. "What are we going to do?" I asked.

"What are we going to do about what?" implored Mairo, who was driving.

"About getting evicted if we can't pay the rent in the next couple weeks."

Mario looked at me. Looked back at the road. Then back at me.

"You saw that?"

No need to answer.

"Don't worry about it," he said.

"No? Ok. I won't worry about. It's nice to not to have to worry about things. But, if you don't mind me asking, why shouldn't I worry about it?"

"Cuz I'll take care of it."

"Ok. Ok. That's a good answer. You'll take care of it. That's good to know. But how are you going to take care of it? Is it because you're spending all our money on those dumb commercials? Is that why we couldn't afford to keep Nancy?"

"Luigi," he said, "look at me. You know how you can know I'll take care of it? Because it's me. I'm Mario."

"That's supposed to reassure me? That doesn't even mean anything! You've been saying that since Mama left us in the airport. What does it even mean? It's not your catchphrase anyway. It's Batman's."

"Batman's catchphrase is not 'I'm Mario'".

"No. But it's, 'I'm Batman'. And he uses it the same way you do," I pointed out.

"Yeah, but you know why it means more when I say it?"

"Why?"

"Because I'm Mario."

"I think I'm going to be sick."

Showing up at a job site and suiting up with all the preliminary gear was always my favorite part. As we slipped on our gloves, tool belts, and headlamps, and grabbed the hand-snake, I felt like we were Ghostbusters strapping on Proton Packs. After all, we were heroes in our own way. Mario was right about that. Somebody was in need and we had the power to save the day. No, there were no ghosts to catch but there might be a giant, stuck turd only the Mario Brothers could set free. Suddenly, the heroism I felt evaporated.

"Mario Brothers! Thank God!" Rocco Delvecio came rushing out the door when he saw our van. He was a balding Italian in a nice suit. Actually, he kind of reminded me of the late British actor, Bob Hoskins. "Everything's backing up," he said. "There's sewage coming up from the floor drains! We can't even drain the water from the sinks. Bastien Clement is supposed to be here in a half hour!"

"Don't you worry about a thing, Mr. Delvecio," I said. "We got this. You know how you can know that we got this?" I pointed to Mario. "Because he's Mario."

"Oh, shut up and get the shopvac," replied Mario.

"Hey, what's with the mustache?" Delvecio was asking me.

"What about it?" I questioned as I felt to see if there was something wrong. That stupid fake mustache was still there! I tried to pull it off but it wasn't gonna go without taking my real mustache with it. Dang! And no clever quip to hide my embarrassment. Moving on.

Clogged lines can be cleared a variety of ways. But we tried a variety of ways and they still wouldn't clear. Even using the long, electric snake in the cleanout, we hit some serious resistance.

"We're gonna have to check it from the sewer," Mario suggested.

"That's what I was afraid of."

Minutes later, we had the manhole coned off and were sloshing our way through New York City's intestines. It took us no time to find the main coming from Delvecio's. We are professionals, after all. The clog was right here at the opening. We could see it. Something about as large as the pipe itself was lodged in the main. Toilet paper and other waste were slowly excreting from around the blockage. I could only imagine how much blockage had built up since whatever it was got lodged in there.

But then something else caught my eye. Something luminescent on the ground. I turned my face toward it but my headlamp outshone the luminescence and I couldn't tell what it was that was glowing. Or was it just my imagination? I lifted my head up and turned my eyes down. Something was there, alright.

"Hey Mario, turn your lamp off," I said.

"Why? What's up?"

"Just do it. Check this out. What is it?"

We both clicked off our lamps. There, on the floor, below the clogged line, was something small that glowed slightly red and yellow. We both moved in closer. It was a flower. A little flower growing out of some nasty sludge. And it was glowing! It's outer pedals were red but it had inner pedals of orange and yellow. Even the green stem had a slight glow to it.

"That's so weird!" he said.

"Ever seen anything like that before?" I asked.

I took off my glove and reached out to see if it felt any different from a normal flower. As soon as I touched it, the light dimmed a little and then strengthened again. But nothing about its texture or tempeture felt out of the ordinary. I plucked it out of the sludge. Immediately the light died out. We both stood dumbstruck for a second. Mario clicked his lamp back on and tapped the flower out of curiosity. There was now no way anyone would know this was ever anything more than common flower. How odd! I stuffed the flower into the pocket of my overalls, clicked my lamp on, returned my glove, and turned my attention back to the clog.

Mario tried to squeeze a wrench between the stuck whatever-it-was and the pipe to loosen it but as soon as the wrench touched the mass, there was a terrible hiss and flailing of claws. We both screamed and jumped back.

"What the heck is that thing!?" asked Mario. We were both now too jumpy to act professional. There was a flippin' animal stuck in the drain! Mario used the wrench again to knock away some of the debris around the creature but with every swipe, Mario would jump back, afraid of being clawed or pounced upon.

The thing was now making a steady unpleasant noise and scratching with its claws, probably trying to free itself. We could see it better with some of the debris pulled away. But with the harsh shadows, it was still hard to identify.

"Is it a turtle?" Mario asked.

"Is that like a bird head?" I asked.

It's backside was to us. Yes, it did seem to have a shell like a turtle. And it's tail was reptilian. But I could swear it had a head like some kind of bird. It turned it's freaky head our way and it's eyes reflected red in our headlamps. We both jumped back again.

"What the heck is that thing?!" I was yelling now.

"That's what I just asked!" So was Mario.

"Whoa!" I exclaimed.

"What?"  
"Look! Under the pipe." There were little holes like indents from claws leading up the wall to the drain.

"You think it climbed up the wall?" asked Mario.

"I don't know!"

"Ok. Calm down. It's just an animal. I don't know what kind of animal but it's just an animal," said Mario.

"Are you trying to reassure yourself?"

"What's so wrong with that?"

We both took a moment to settle down and evaluate what we were dealing with.

"Is it a turtle dove?" I asked.

"What?"

"A turtle dove. Like from the Christmas song. Why are you looking at me like that? I don't know what a turtle dove is. But I'd imagine that might be one."

"It's not a turtle dove."

Mario stood up straight, popped his neck, and shook himself out. He was building up resolve.

"Alright," he said, "I think that if I grab its shell above the legs, it won't be able to scratch me. I might be able to pull it out."

He looked to me as if waiting for me to offer a better suggestion or to offer to pull it out myself. I was not about to put my hands anywhere near those claws! Be my guest, Mairo.

Since I had nothing to offer, he took a deep breath and shoved his hands into the pipe to grab the racoon sized turtle bird thing. I stepped back but kept my light on the pipe. Mario gritted his teeth and pulled with all he had. After a moment of heavy grunting, we could hear the sound of shell grinding against rusty pipe. It was coming free. The thing was hissing again and flailing its clawed feet. The noise was absolutely awful! Finally the creature was yanked free and about a dozen feet of backed-up waste water exploded out of the pipe. Mario dropped the creature but we lost sight of it due to the gushing sewage.

"Where is it!?" Mario yelled.

"Ahh! There!" I saw it suddenly come rushing my way. I couldn't say for certain what had happened but as I was scrambling back and pointing at the thing, there was a flash of fire between me and it. I screamed and jumped onto the ladder that led out of the sewer as the beast hissed and scurried in the opposite direction. I'm pretty sure Mario screamed too. We watched the creature run off down the sewer and out of site.

"Did that thing just spit fire at me!?" I was on the verge of hyperventilating.

"I don't know. But there was fire. And fire ain't no good in a methane filled tube. Let's get out of here!"

I looked at my rubber glove. The whole palm and fingers of it were melted off but I wasn't burned. I'd ponder on that later. For now, the priority was getting out of the sewer and far away from that little monster.

Rocco was waiting at the top of the manhole. "Good news," he said. "Just got a call from Bastien Clement. He's running late. But he'll be in here in fifteen. What's the status?"

"I think we got it," said Mario.

"Oh, thank God! Hurry up. Clean up your stuff and get out of here! I've got to re-open my restaurant. Oh, and come back tomorrow. After work, of coarse. You did a favor for me. I'll do a favor for you. Bring dates. Both of you. Have anything you want. It's on the house. And I mean anything. Truffles. A bottle of wine. It's yours. I'll have my staff call your office and set it up."

On the way home I suggested we ask Pauline about the creature. Pauline had a PHD in zoology. But Mario said no way! We didn't need to go bothering her as if there was nothing funny between her and the Mario Brothers. I pointed out that there _wasn't _anything funny between her and the Mario Brothers. Only between her and him. But Mario's Mario. He wouldn't budge. So I decided I'd talk to her anyway. And who knows, maybe I'd even invite her on a date to Delvecio's Ristorante tomorrow.


	2. Chapter 2

**CHAPTER 2: FIRE FLOWER**

Mario agreed to drop me off at my apartment on the way back to the office. I couldn't go back to the party smelling like sewage. After taking a shower, there'd be no reason to take public transportation back there. I'd only have to turn around and take public transportation back home shortly thereafter. This wasn't an issue for Mario. He lived across the street from the office. He could shower and rejoin the festivities in no time. Because of the late hour, I texted Chuck that I wouldn't be able to make it to his thing either. The game had already started after all. Some 40th birthday this was turning out to be!

That night I found myself standing in the shower, not washing - just questioning every decision I'd ever made and asking myself existential questions. It's never a good day when you're asking yourself Who am I? What am I doing here? Am I really a man? Or just the shadow of another man?

I thought about when I was 17 years old. Lindsay Wilder seemed to be really into me. We had really hit it off but neither of us seemed willing to make the first move to making anything official. She was shy. She was beautiful. And witty - once you got her talking. Why should she be responsible for making the first move? What was I thinking? One day Michael Donohue asked her to the prom and we just sort of stopped talking after that. I looked her up on Facebook a while back. She married an orthodontist, moved to Australia, and does humanitarian work with the aborigines. How life could have been so different for both of us if I asked her out. Dang!

I thought about the year after high-school. Mario had taken a job as a carpenter's apprentice. I went to work at Papa T's bakery. Papa T was our name for Tony Bartoli, the man who raised us. I loved baking. I had been around it my whole life. I was saving up money to go to the Culinary Institute of America in Hyde Park. Maybe I'd start my own bakery after that. But Mario met a plumber at a construction site who was making a ton of money. Mario came to me that night and told me all the money we could make as plumbers and how expensive the Culinary Institute was and all the reasons why becoming a baker was a bad idea. I pointed out all the reasons why I'd rather not be a plumber. One month later, I was spending my days at a trade-school learning plumbing with Mario. Dang!

I thought about that time last year when Big Apple Plumbing and Heating offered me a job with them doing the same thing I'm doing now but earning 50% more and actually getting benefits. I turned them down because I knew it would break Mario's heart if I left. And now Mario Brothers Plumbing was going under. Dang!

I thought about all the hundreds of times throughout my entire life people had asked me, "Aren't you Mario's brother?" Dang!

What would I be in 10 years? An unmarried, 50 year old plumber? Was that all my life would ever be? Dang!

I thought about Pauline. But then again, when was I ever _not _thinking about Pauline. Dang! Dang! Dang!

The shower could not rinse away the funk I was feeling. I hit my shower curtain in a rage. Immediately, the shower curtain burst into flames. What the…! There was a large hole where I hit the curtain and the rest was on fire! Toxic, black smoke was rising from the melting plastic of the inner curtain. I tried to aim the shower head at it but that wasn't working. I yanked the curtain down before it set the ceiling of fire. The whole bar and flaming curtains came crashing down on me as I fell into the tub, hitting my head against the wall. The flaming curtain burned my skin slightly. Thank God the shower put it out before it could do more damage. I felt my head. There was blood on my fingers.

Standing up in the shower, I tried to make sense of what had just happened. I began to suspect the turtle thing hadn't spit fire at me after all. But if the fire came from me….How? How could fire come from me? I looked at my hand. No burns there. I aimed my hand outward to see if anything would happen. Even though I had just set my shower curtain on fire, I was still skeptical. But now nothing was happening. I concentrated. Or well, scrunched my face up like I was concentrating anyhow. I didn't know what I was supposed to concentrate on - if anything. With that failing to produce any results, I flung my hand out like I had when I hit the curtain. This time the space between me and the towel rack ignited. It worked! Oh crap! It worked! Now the towels were on fire! I was about to burn down the whole apartment building!

In an attempt to jump out of the tub to address this new emergency, I slipped again and fell face-first onto the bathroom floor. I was able to soften the blow with my arms. The flames were starting to lick the ceiling. I got up as fast as I could, cupped my hands under the shower water, and flung it at the flames like an idiot. Of course it did nothing. I reached out and grabbed the bottom of one of the towels and was able to yank it off the rack. The towel flicked my foot as it came loose, adding to my number of small burns. I tossed the towel in the still-running shower where it sizzled and smoked and finally extinguished. There was not as open a spot on the other towel to grab. This one was almost completely engulfed. And now the ceiling was on fire! I had no choice. I grabbed the towel with my bare hands and threw it in the shower. I quickly retrieved the first towel, which was now soaked and cool, and started whacking the flames on the ceiling with it. It worked. The fire was out. But now my bathroom was full of smoke and burn spots. Fortunately the vent in the bathroom was on, otherwise the smoke would have set off an alarm - in which case I'd have to explain what happened. But what did happen? I looked at my hands that should have been burnt to a crisp. They were fine. No burns whatsoever. I guess that made sense. If fire was emanating from my palms, why would fire burn them.

I had to test the extent of my….what do I call it? Abilities? Powers? Was I now a superhero? It occured to me then how absurd all those superhero movies were. Just because you have a unique ability - like being able to shoot fire from your hands - could not realistically qualify you to be a hero. What on earth would I shoot fire at? There's no such thing as supervillains. Real life villains were terrorists and criminals and people that took advantage of others. What was I supposed to do? Somehow find some person involved in illegal activity and burn them to death? Absurd! The thought sickened me. And besides, I would not want to be anywhere near someone I needed to take lethal action against. No, I was not a superhero. Heck, I'm easily defeated by my own melancholy contemplations.

I slipped on a Polo and some khakis and made my way down to the alley on the side of my building, anxious to test these powers. Only a few dim lights over doors lit the dark alleyway. I walked the entire length, making sure there were no homeless guys sleeping under newspapers. I'd hate to accidentally catch someone with a fireball.

When I was sure that it was clear, I thrust my arm out backhanded as I had done now three times before. Sure enough, fire exploded from my hand. It wasn't like a flamethrower. The fire did not continue to emanate. It really was a fireball. Unlike the little ones like you see the witch throwing in The Wizard of Oz, this was an enormous blast - about the size of a basketball but with a long tail of flame. And it was fast! It fizzled out about 50 yards ahead of me - just before hitting a building. The light of the fireball lit the whole alley.

This time I aimed at a wall and swung my arms like I was pitching a fastball. That movement worked. A fireball slammed into the wall and dispersed, leaving a black spot. Good. I was a little scared after I threw it that it might be strong enough to break bricks.

Now I wanted to try my left hand. Would that work? And was there enough force in the fireball to knock things over? I aimed at some trash cans and let the fire fly. Cool. Both hands work. But I totally missed the cans. Back to the right hand. This time I was dead on. The trash cans went flying! Not only that but they were all bent out of shape and some of the trash, now littering the ground, was on fire.

This racket got the attention of the neighbors. A curmudgeonly old woman wearing curlers burst out of one of the doors with all the violence of one of my fireballs. "What's all this noise!" she demanded. She looked around at the destruction. "Get out of here, you punk! I'm calling the cops!" She pulled a phone from her robe pocket. Dang! I took off. "Yeah! You better run! Butt-head!" she yelled after me.

Adrenaline was pumping through my veins. It felt good. I was alive! I may not be a superhero but for the first time in my life I could do something no one else could. I had something that people might actually care about. As I rode the elevator back up to my floor, I tried to think of how this could possibly be happening to me. And then something clicked.

After exiting the elevator, I bee-lined it to the washing machine in my apartment, pulled out my nasty overalls, and started digging around in all the pockets. Yes! There it was! In the chest pocket. The flower from the sewer. It was pretty squashed by now and still lacking any sort of glow. This must have been what did it. It was glowing until I touched it. What if the glow was the power. What if that power went into me? I had to protect this flower until I could learn more about it. What could I keep it in? I looked through my cabinets and drawers and closet and finally found an empty ring box. That would work perfectly.

It was then that I called Pauline.

"Happy Birthday, Luigi." It was good to hear her voice but she sounded a little preoccupied.

"Oh, right. Yeah," I said. "Thanks. I actually forgot it was my birthday."

"How could you forget? Didn't you have a party?"

"Thank you for that, by the way. That was very kind." I said.

"Why are you thanking me?" She still seemed preoccupied. What was she doing?

"Hey," I said. "Are you home?"

"No. Why?"

"Me and Mario ran into a real strange animal in the sewers today and I wanted to know if you've ever seen anything like it before."

"Well, tell me what it looked like. I'll let you know right now."

"Well, it's more than that. Something happened."

"Is everything alright?" Now I had her full attention.

"Everything's fine. But I need to show you something. It's...you just have to see it for yourself."

"I'm at the zoo working with Kong. And the zoo's been closed for hours. Can it wait till next week?" she asked. Kong was what they called one of the apes there at the Bronx Zoo. This one in particular made quite a stir a few months back when it was found loose in New York City. I'm sure you can imagine the fright that put some people in. No one knows where it came from. The best guess is that it got loose from an exotic pet smuggler.

"Next week?" I asked. "Why so long?"

"I hit the campaign trail tomorrow. I speak in Manhattan tomorrow and have a press tour after that." Dr. Pauline Keyes is not only a smart and beautiful zoologist. She is also a smart and beautiful city council woman who was running for governor.

"It won't take long. I promise." I said. "Can you let me in? It's important to me that you see this."

"Ok. Sure. Text me when your close. I'll have Charlie let you in."

A half hour later Charlie was escorting me to a room in the zoo the public does not usually get to see. A third of the way into the room was a set of bars like in a jail cell that prevented the animals from accessing this first part of the room. Pauline was on the other side of the bars with the ape. Charlie motioned her direction. "Dr. Keyes and Dr. Keyes' Kong," he said as if introductions were needed.

Pauline turned to face me but was immediately distracted as the ape grunted out a noise that almost sounded like words.

"Doh-kee kon," it said.

"Oh my God! Did he just copy you?" asked Pauline, astonished.

"Doh-kee kon," it said again.

Pauline, looking the ape in the eye and pointing to herself, said slowly, "Dr. Keyes."

"Doh-kee," it said. It was repeating english words like a parrot! Amazing!

She now pointed at Kong. "And you are…" But the ape interrupted.

"Doh-kee kon! Doh-kee kon! Doh-kee kon!" The ape was pounding its chest in excitement.

"Are you seeing what I'm seeing?" Pauline asked me and Charlie.

"It's repeating syllables," pointed out Charlie.

"Sounds like he's saying Donkey Kong," I said. Stupid. What a dumb thing to say around a couple scientists!

"I think it's more than repeating," Pauline said. "I think it recognizes those syllables as names." She pointed at me. "Luigi," she said. She pointed at Charlie. "Dr. Irvine." She kept looking back to Kong to see if he had any reactions. He did not. She pointed to herself and before she could say anything, the ape grunted out, "Doh kee!".

Pauline chuckled with delight. She now pointed at the ape. "Doh-kee kon! Doh-kee kon! Doh-kee kon!" It was pounding its chest again, apparently pleased to have excited Pauline.

"This is amazing!" Pauline said. "I can't go tomorrow. We've just made a history making discovery! There's so much we have to test! We've got to film this!"

"You'll be back in a week. He's not going anywhere," I tried to encourage her. "You don't want to miss out on your dreams. You have to hit the press circuit like you planned."

"It's just extraordinary!" She said. Now to the ape. "You deserve a banana, Donkey Kong." The ape turned in a circle with delight as she tossed it a banana . "Looks like you gave him a new name, Luigi," she said.

"So, you got a sec?" I asked.

"Sure. What's up?" She came through the gate to my side of the room.

"Let's go outside," I said. "I can't show you in here."

"Why not? Did you bring the animal here?"

"Good heavens, no! That thing was vicious!" I noticed Charlie was still standing by so I whispered in Pauline's ear. "I can shoot fire from my hands."

"You can shoot fire from your…?" She looked at my rear.

"No! Hands! I said hands!"

"I couldn't understand you. You were whispering for some reason. You could have shouted it from the rooftops, I still wouldn't be able to catch the euphemisms you're throwin' down. What does that even mean?"

"Can we just go outside? I'll show you there."

She acquiesced and a moment later we were standing in the parking lot. Before starting my little demonstration, I had better tie my shoe first. I'd hate to trip while launching a deadly fireball. Pauline stood by patiently. That taken care of, I removed the ring box from my pocket before getting back up. He eyes nearly bulged out of her head.

"What! Are you crazy! No. Just no!" Pauline said, frazzled, irritated, and walking away - a reaction I couldn't understand at first. And then I realized what it looked like.

"No. Wait!" I called after her.

"No. Just go." she replied.

"It's not a ring! It's a flower. It's science." That stopped her. She turned back toward me and let me walk to her. "Why would I propose to you?" Foot in mouth! Dang! "That's not what I mean. Nevermind." I suck at recoveries. Dang!

"You ever seen a flower like this before?" I asked. She looked at it briefly.

"I'm sorry I reacted that way," she said. "I just thought...I'm sure you understand."

"Oh, right. Totally. But what about the flower?"

"I don't know. I don't really study flowers.""No. But you study animals. And the _food they eat_."

"You think the animal you saw was eating this? Why are you so curious about this animal anyway?"

"I don't know if it was eating it for sure. It was stuck in a pipe. The animal, that is. And under the pipe was the flower. I think maybe it pooped out the seed and it grew."

"In the sewer? The Animal was stuck long enough for a seed to grow into a flower?""I don't know! But when I tell you the rest of the story, anything will seem believable. The flower was glowing! As soon as I picked it up, it stopped glowing and I could suddenly shoot fire from my hands." She was skeptical. Who could blame her? "Watch," I said.

I thrust my arm out. Nothing happened. I tried again. Nothing.

"What?" I muttered, fearful of being crushed to death by my own humiliation. "I don't know why it's not working now but I swear less than an hour ago I was shooting fire." I tried several more times. Each time serving to make me look more the fool.

"Oh my God!" Pauline said, cuffing her mouth.

"What?"

"Your head! You're bleeding!"

"Yeah, I hit it in the shower after accidentally setting my bathroom on fire."

"No wonder you're talking such nonsense. You've got to get to the ER."

"What? No! It's not a big deal. And I'm not talking nonsense. Ask Mario. He saw me throw fire at the … the thing."

"Get in my car. I'm taking you to the ER," she demanded.

Could the mortification get any worse? I thought I'd come here, show her my first ever something-interesting and maybe even see if she wanted to join me for dinner at Delvecios tomorrow. We were all friends, right? It wouldn't be that awkward that Mario would be there with another girl, would it? No need to wonder about that now. Pauline thought I slipped in the shower, hit my head, and was now delusional. What the heck! And then there was that whole embarrassment with the ring box. Good Lord!

On the ride up to the hospital, she could tell I was unhappy about her not believing me. She tried breaking the silence with questions about the creature in the sewer. I don't know if she was patronizing me but she seemed really interested in my descriptions of it. It felt good to capture her attention. But her attention is all I'd ever get from her. I thought again about Lindsay Wilder. And the world spun on. Ever on. Dang!

Little did I know that in less than 24 hours, the world would spin the opposite direction.


	3. Chapter 3

**CHAPTER 3: DONKEY KONG**

Professor Elvin Gadd was not of this world. His students certainly believed that. The corky 57 year old, standing tall at just under 5 feet, with a tuft of reddish brown hair, was in the middle of a discourse on Griffith's _Many Interacting Worlds _theory with his Quantum Physics students at NYU, when he noticed he no longer held their attention.

"I see," he said. "I see that you are not interested in the quantum phenomena that arise when there is a universal force of repulsion between nearby worlds." He climbed up on top of his desk, an especially awkward task due to his prosthetic leg. Now he had their attention. "How is that not interesting to you? How is the idea of multiple worlds influencing each other for better or worse not interesting? I just...I can't understand it. Unless this is all just numbers and textbook jargon to you - information to be memorized just so you can pass exams."

He bent over, picked up his venti sized Starbucks cup, took a sip, and spilled a dribble of coffee on his chin and 'I Heart Math and Coffee' shirt. "Oh, for crying out loud!" he mumbled under his breath as he patted his shirt dry. "How come you only pay attention when I stand on tables or take out my glass eye?" he asked before continuing his original train of thought.

"Now, before we go on with Griffith's theory," he said, "I think it's important that we take a moment to stop and ask ourselves why we are in this class. What drew us here in the first place? Are you like me and just love math? Or was it a show or a science fiction book that first birthed an interest in the possibilities of quantum physics? Let's talk about that. Let's re-awaken that old love. Because if the love of physics dies, physics dies! Go on now. Somebody raise your hand."

One student lifted her hand. "Yes, Daisy?"

"For me," said Daisy, "it wasn't a show or a book or anything like that. I had no choice."

A couple students chuckled. One said, "Same here!"

Professor Gadd sighed. "Daisy, of all the students here, I cannot believe your parents coaxed you into taking this class." He was referring to her age. Daisy was in her mid-thirties.

"No," said Daisy, "my parents did not coax me. I have no choice because I cannot believe that this is all there is. This world. This life. My conscience won't let me believe it. I am constantly bothered by the question of what is the purpose of the sense of wonder if nothing ultimately satisfies?

"But the stuff we're talking about today," Daisy continued, "MIW theory, the idea of a multiverse, and so on - hints at the idea that there just might be something more. Maybe Wonder has been pointing us towards that otherness all our lives."

Gadd studied her, thoughtfully.

"Sheesh, chica! Why so intense?" asked a student. "You'll never get a guy like that - no matter how hot your body is."

Daisy gave him a death stare.

"Aaah!" exclaimed the student. "Case in point! I feel like you're gonna burn holes in my head with that look." Her stare only intensified. "You're scaring me to death! Seriously. Stop looking at me. Professor, help!"

"Can you stay after class for a minute, Daisy? Do you mind?" asked the professor.

Snickering on the opposite side of the room distracted Gadd. A student obviously found something on his phone amusing.

"What's so funny, Julio?" asked the professor.

"Nothing. It's stupid." replied the student.

"No, please. Share it with the class. What's so stupid?"

"It's just Donkey Kong. They got him to say, 'it's Wednesday my dudes.'"

"What's Donkey Kong?"

"You know," said Julio. "Kong. The ape that was loose in Manhattan a few months ago? I guess they call him Donkey Kong now for some reason."

"What do you mean they got him to say that?"

"I don't know. The people at the zoo taught him, I guess. All morning people have been sharing videos of him talking. Wanna see?"

This actually did sound interesting to Gadd, but for reasons the class could not guess. The professor climbed down from the desk. Julio met him half way to show him the video. A couple other students came behind to look at the phone. The video showed an ape surrounded by trees. A female voice, probably the one filming, said, "go ahead, say it." The ape hit its chest once and grunted out slowly, "It's Wednesday, my dudes." The ape contorted it's face in an effort to pronounce each foreign syllable. The woman filming laughed and tossed a banana to the ape. That was the end of the video.

"You said he was loose in the city? When? Where did he come from? Where is he now?" asked Professor Gadd.

"How have you not heard of it?" asked a student. "It had to have made world news a few months ago."

"I was out of country all summer. And nowhere near a TV or wifi. Where did it come from?"

"I don't think anyone knows." answered another student. "They say they're not even sure what species of gorilla it is."  
"Who's they?"

"The people at the Bronx Zoo. That's where they keep him." said Julio.

"Daisy," said the Professor, "take over leading the discussion on what first interested everyone in quantum physics. I have to go." He handed the phone back over to Julio, retrieved his leather bag from behind the desk, and left in a hurry.

"You've got to let me in! It's a matter of utmost scientific importance!" Elvin Gadd was disputing with the lady at the ticket booth at the Bronx Zoo.

"I'm sorry but if you do not have a special invitation, you're going to have to pay for admission." said the lady.

"But I don't need a full day pass! I just need to see the Kong exhibit!"

"Sir, do you see the long line behind you? Just about all of them are here just to see Kong."

"Oh, for crying out loud! How much is admission?"

"$22.95."

"Fine. Fine. Whatever." Gadd fumbled for his wallet and handed the whole thing to the ticket woman. "Take all my money."

"I don't need all your money, sir." She said, not even touching the wallet. "I just need $22.95."

"Ok. Here. Here. Here. Will you run the card already!?"

Ten minutes later, Gadd was in the glass enclosure of the Congo Gorilla Forest exhibit. There was such a crowd of people that he could hardly push through. As soon as he reached the plexiglass, he could see Donkey Kong. There was no mistaking him. Unlike the other gorillas who were dark in color, Kong had a light brown coat - similar to an orangutan. Donkey Kong was laying on his back with his feet above his head, resting against a large log.

People in the crowd were asking a zookeeper more questions than he could answer.

"How come he's not moving?" "Can you make him talk?" "Where those videos real or just a publicity stunt for Dr. Keye's campaign?" "Why is he called Donkey Kong now?" "Did you ever find out where he came from?"

The zookeeper did his best to answer. "Yes, those videos were real. And yes, Donkey Kong can say words. However, he seems to have a special liking to Dr. Keyes and cooperates much better with her. None of us have been able to get him to talk. And Dr. Keyes is not here today. As far as why he's not moving, well, he is a gorilla and gorillas rest for about a third of the day. What were your other questions?"

Gadd could hardly unfix his eyes. How did that thing get here? Oh, but he knew, alright. "The king is going to kill me." Gadd said under his breath. He reached into his leather bag and retrieved a sandwich baggy containing a mushroom. Just then Kong's eyes shifted to the professor. They made eye contact. Gadd froze. Kong rolled over onto his arms and legs and charged the glass, stopping just inches before hitting it. The people inside all jumped back in surprise. Donkey Kong put his face up to the glass. It was now obvious to everyone that it was staring into Gadd's eyes.

The gorilla roared the unmistakable sound of the word NO and hit the plexiglass hard enough to make everyone jump again. Kong turned abruptly and ran off, out of view of those in the chamber. Some pressed their faces to the glass to see where the ape was going. Others bombarded the zookeeper with questions about what just happened. Some tried to ask Gadd what he did that upset Kong but he was already pushing his way out of the observatory in too much of a rush to answer questions.

As soon as the professor exited the building he scanned the surrounding woods, knowing this ape could have escaped any time it wanted to, and assuming it wanted to now. That ape knew the professor. But not from this world. And it apparently didn't appreciate being recognized.

Unfortunately, foliage blocked any site of the gorilla exhibit so Gadd would not be able to see the intelligent creature's means of escape. Was there a ravine blocking the guest area from the Congo Gorilla Forest? If so, Kong could easily drag a fallen tree across the chasm and use it as a bridge. That ape was smarter than most humans. But not smarter than Gadd.

Suddenly there was a sound of crunching foliage and Donkey Kong burst over the railing onto the guest walking area, terrifying the nearby guests. Kong panicked again at the sight of Gadd and ran the opposite direction. Again, the professor pulled the mushroom from his bag but before he could open the baggie, a running guest (who must have been looking behind her at Kong) slammed into him, causing both of them to tumble over each other to the ground.

Gadd scrambled to get up and find the mushroom. The woman was apologizing as she got up. She was exceptionally attractive with platinum blonde hair and wearing a pale aqua-colored dress. But never mind that. Where was the mushroom? Convinced it could not immediately be found, he chose instead to run toward the sounds of screaming. He mustn't lose that ape!

I called Mario this morning. But only to tell him I slipped in the shower and had to get staples put in my head - and therefore wouldn't be coming to work. I figured that since he's down half a crew without me there, I'd better not distract him with the other details. If I told him about the temporary fire power, he'd want to check out my burnt bathroom and maybe even go back into the sewers, looking for that creature. And if I told him that I went to see Pauline - well, I don't know how he'd react to that. I hadn't yet decided if I even wanted to bring it up at dinner. Speaking of dinner, he asked if I had a date. When he heard I did not, he said he'd cancel will Melinda - a client we met a couple years ago. I swore it wouldn't be a big deal. Go ahead and bring her, I insisted. But his insistence always trumped mine.

Amazingly, Mario finished the day's work and was able to meet me at Delvecio's in time to make our 5 o'clock reservation. I guess Delvecio didn't want his non-paying guests taking up space during busy hours. I admit it was a little awkward walking into such a romantic restaurant with only my brother. To make matters worse, there were candles on the table and the waiter who took our drink order sang opera over us.

"Luigi?" asked Mario.

"Yes?"

"Will you marry me?"

"I know, right? Isn't there a tax credit for something like that?"

"I don't know. I think so."

"Why are we still single, Mario? Half the people we went to highschool with have kids of their own in highschool now. It's kinda depressing."

"Hey now," said Mario, "I'm only recently and temporarily single. And besides, I'm giving Scarlett Johannson time to discover all of this…" He circled his hand over his face and chest as if indicating he was the total package. "As soon as she does, my single days will be over. You, on the other hand never let me set you up with anyone. Remember when I tried to set you up with Daisy Dayflower? She was super cute, don't you think?"

"She was cute." I admitted.

"So why didn't you go for it?"

"I'm my own man, Mario. I don't need other people setting me up. And to be honest, I had feelings for someone else at the time."

"You did? Who?"

"It doesn't matter. It wouldn't have worked out anyhow." I had to change the subject quickly. "So you know how people tend to go through a midlife crisis when they're…."

"In the middle of their life?" Mario offered.

"Yeah. Well, I never thought it would happen to me. And I certainly didn't expect it to hit like a ton of bricks the day I became middle-aged. What's up with that!"

"What are you talking about?" asked Mario. "You want a Corvette?"

"No, I don't want a Corvette. Well, I _do _want a Corvette. But that's not what I'm talking about."

"What _are_ you talking about?"

"If I die today," I said, "who's it going to matter to?"

"It's going to matter the world to me! Why are you talking like that?"

"Sure, a couple people will mourn my passing. But they'll get over it and life will go on. Well, mine won't obviously."

"What happened that brought those feelings on?" asked Mario.

"40 years of life happened. And then I added up those 40 years to see what they amounted to and….". I puffed my cheeks and slowly breathed out.

"I don't know how else I can put it," said Mario, "but you matter a great deal to a great number of people. Don't get me wrong. I'm not downplaying your feelings. We get emotional sometimes. And I know the emotions are real. And they can be painful. But you _do _matter. For whatever it's worth, tell me how I can do better at making you feel appreciated."

"I know you appreciate me," I said. "Too much most of the time. Actually a little space would be nice once in a while."

Mario looked a little hurt by that. So I corrected. "Not right now though." I said. "Because there is something I'd like your help with." That was the key word. Mario couldn't resist an opportunity to help. "We need to find that turtle from the sewers. Or at least where it came from."

Mario looked at me with a question in his eyes.

"Something happened to me yesterday that I need to tell you about."

"How long are we going to pretend that our local mobsters are legitimate business men?"

Dr. Pauline Keyes, appropriately clad in a red power suit, stood behind a lectern in front of several hundred of the city's politically curios, with enough confidence to put fear into her opposition. Her passion reverberated through the crowd who responded with equal emotion, whooping, hollering, cheering, demanding justice.

"Is it because we don't have enough evidence of illegal activity? If so, why not? Why hasn't a serious investigation into these crime syndicates been a priority of our administration? I promise you, it is a priority of mine! And I'm not afraid to name names. If I am elected mayor, Delvecio is going down. Cho is going down. The Scaramouche family is going down."

The crowd went wild.

Amanda Roth, Pauline's personal assistant, approached the podium and spoke a few urgent words to her. Pauline immediately exited the stage, joining a waiting police officer. Mrs. Roth approached the podium and addressed the crowd.

"While Dr. Keyes is not mayor yet, the city of New York needs her and requires her immediate assistance." Roth said. "You'll have to excuse her as she will not be able to continue todays speech. But don't forget, your can learn about her policies and find her speaking schedule at . And come voting time, do the right thing. Thank you. Good night."

"I don't get it." said Mario. "What's the punchline?"

"What's the punchline?! I'm serious!" I said.

"I don't know."

"You saw the fire in the sewer."

"Can you shoot fire now?"

"No. Like I said, it wore off in less than an hour. If you really don't believe me, check out my bathroom. Check out the burnt garbage cans behind my apartment."

"This is pretty amazing."

"So you do believe me?"

"Don't get me wrong, it's kinda hard to swallow. But I know that if you're telling me it's true, then it's true. So, you think that somewhere in the sewers we might find clues as to where that turtle and the fire flowers came from?"

"That's my hope." I said.

"Well, count me in, brother. I wanna try one!"

Just then the waitress came with our food. It was not the same person who took our order. This was a young woman with platinum blonde hair. She handed me a plate of lasagna while Mario got the strangozzi al tartufo nero - some sort of pasta with truffle - something neither of us would be able to afford if we were paying. Neither of us had ever even seen truffles before but we certainly didn't think they'd look like this. Sitting on top of the mountain of pasta was a single white mushroom about as large as an apple with red spots. Both dishes smelled amazing.

"So that's a truffle, huh?" I said after the pretty waitress left.

"I guess so." Mario cut the mushroom and rolled it with the pasta, eager to try the pricey dish.

The police car escorting Pauline pulled passed the barricades onto Southern Blvd, one of the roads that ran alongside the zoo. Donkey Kong was reportedly still on zoo property. They said he was in the woods near the intersection of Southern Blvd. and East Fordham, close to the fence that separated the zoo property from the city. Because of this, both large roads had to be shut down until Kong could be recaptured.

Pauline exited the car at the intersection and approached her associate Dr. Charles Irvine who was standing with two police officers, staring past the fence into the woods. Irvine was carrying a tranquilizer gun.

"Talk to me Charlie." said Pauline. "How'd he escape?"

"We're still looking into the how," said Irvine, "but we know the why. A guest severely agitated him. And after he escaped, he continued to agitate him. Security has the guest locked down in the clinic until the cops can question him."

"What do we know about this guy?" asked Pauline.

"He claims to be a physics professor at NYU and says he has experience with this species of gorilla. But what in the world does a physics professor in New York have to do with a rare gorilla species?"

"Sounds fishy. How are the guests?

"All accounted for. Safely locked down in all the buildings."

"So Kong is in there?" Pauline pointed to the woods.

"Yeah," replied Irvine, "Mike and William are following him with tranqs. But he's smart. He keeps his distance, stays on the move, and keeps trees between him and the guys. The plan is: the guys corner him here at the fence. If you can talk to him when he gets here, maybe he'll be still long enough to tranq him."

Zoo security frisked Elvin Gadd and rummaged through his satchel before locking him in the clinic. Not seeing anything suspicious, they let him keep his belongings. Sure, they questioned him about the strange, encapsulated luminescent flower - but only on account of its uniqueness and not because they thought it could be weaponized. Gadd made up a Latin-sounding name for the flower and said he grew it from seed at his work and was just taking it home today to plant in his garden.

Now that he was alone, It was that very flower he was about to weaponize. He removed the plastic, blue capsule from his bag. It was actually a children's portable toothbrush carrier with small holes in the top. He unscrewed the upper half of the capsule, revealing the glowing flower that was planted into the dirt in the lower half of the capsule. He crushed the flower in his hand and then tossed the whole thing in a waste basket. These biological enhancers did not have nearly the same effect on him as they would on a full-blooded Earthborn.

He took a piece of paper from the counter, crumpled it up in his fist, and shook it repeatedly.

"Come on!" he said impatiently.

Finally, a trail of smoke rose from the ball of paper. He shook it some more. Now a small flame ignited the paper. Honestly, a lighter would have worked better. Gadd dropped the burning paper ball into the waste paper basket which ignited the other contents. He then placed the basket against the wall. As soon as the fire spread onto the wall, he started to scream, "Help! Fire!" over and over until security opened to the door. The security guard, seeing for himself that the emergency was real, made extinguishing the fire his priority. As he searched the room for a fire extinguisher, Gadd ran out the door.

"Kong! Over here! It's me. Doctor Keyes." Donkey Kong had just become visible in the distance beyond the fence. Hearing Pauline's voice, the ape looked torn - almost as if he knew that it was a trap. He approached the fence but hesitantly and cautiously, frequently looking over his shoulder.

"Silly ol' Kong," Pauline spoke in a tender voice, "you've gotten out of your safe place. How am I going to take care of you if you're not in your safe place?"

"Doh Kee?" Donkey Kong wrapped his fingers around the chain links of the fence and looked into Pauline's eyes as if pleading that she not betray him.

"Mama mia!" said Mario as he pushed aside his empty bowl of pasta and reached for the bread plate. "I feel great! I feel like I could run a marathon right now!"

"Are you serious?" I asked. "You just ate a whole bowl of pasta."

Suddenly there was a loud crash. Somehow, as Mario was cutting into the bread, the bread knife split the ceramic plate in half and lodged itself into the wooden table. I looked at Mario like _What the heck, man! _He looked around to see if any staff noticed he just stabbed the table. Customers had already turned their heads our way but there was no staff around. He quickly pulled on the bread knife but instead of dislodging immediately, the entire table lifted off the ground an inch before the knife gave way. The table crashed to the ground as our drink glasses tipped and smashed and our silverware and plates clanked loud enough to get the attention of a couple waitresses that were now coming our way.

"What are you doing, Mario!" I demanded of him. "You better hope Delvecio isn't really a gangster!"

As the serving staff approached, Mario gave his sincerest apologies, admitting it was his fault. He offered to pay for any of the damage. Though they declined his offer, they didn't seem too happy about the mess and broken dishes. Regardless, they set us up at another table and offered us dessert while they cleaned the table Mario made a mess of.

Just as we were sitting down again, my phone buzzed. I was getting a Facetime call from Chuck, which I found kind of odd. He'd never Facetimed me before. I answered.

"Hey Luigi," he said, "I'm over here at the job on Southern, across from the zoo. There's something big going on with Pauline. The roads are all shut down. There's a ton of cops. I can't tell what's going on but I can see everything from here."

At the mention of Pauline's name, Mario came across the table to face the phone.

"What's going on with Pauline?" He asked.

The job Chuck was referring to was a tall high school that was being built. His crew was doing all the steel framing. It was apparent from the view on the phone that Chuck was calling from several stories up the unfinished construction. Chuck was a black man with a shaved head and bulky muscles developed from lugging heavy metal around for years.

Chuck switched to the outward facing camera and showed us the scene across the street. There was Pauline. She was flanked by two cops and a man with a rifle. They were all looking into the woods beyond the fence. And there was something else. What was that? Just on the other side of the fence? They weren't looking into the woods! They were looking at an escaped gorilla! Donkey Kong.

"It's time to go home big guy!" a voice shouted from somewhere behind Kong and the tranq-toting zookeepers who were trying to sneak up on Kong. Zookeepers, Mike and William turned in surprise. It was that professor that caused all this mess! So much for the element of surprise!

"Nooooo!" Kong shouted. The large gorilla launched himself over the tall fence, a feat no ordinary gorilla could ever manage. Neither Dr. Irvine nor the cops could react fast enough. As soon as Kong landed on the other side, he swooped up Pauline into his arms and turned so that no one could risk a shot at him without possibly hitting Pauline. As confident as Pauline usually was with the familiar animal, she was terrified now. Donkey Kong, still holding her, ran off towards the construction site across the street.

Mario exploded from his seat and ran towards the door. No reason to ask where he was going. No reason to tell him to stop. But there was no way he was going without me. I slapped a hefty tip on the table (no time to ask for change) and ran after my ambitious brother.

It took what seemed like an eternity for the cab to get to the Bronx. All throughout that eternity, Chuck kept us up to date on what was happening. Donkey Kong actually climbed a couple floors up the structure that Chuck's team was building, all the while carrying Pauline. The police used their megaphones to make sure Chuck and his crew got down off the structure and to safety. Nobody dared climb up after Pauline for fear that the ape would drop her. Instead, a zoo worker, using the police megaphone, encouraged Pauline to stay calm and to try to speak gently to Kong in hopes that he would set her down.

As we were warned, we could not get anywhere close to the scene. The roads were blocked and there were cops everywhere. We got out of the car at Cambreleng Avenue, a block from the construction site, and removed the nearest manhole cover. This would normally be a very difficult task without the right tools but Mario seemed to have no problem fitting his finger into the slot and flipping the lid up. We were able to take the sewers to Crotana Avenue and pop up inside the barricaded area, just in front of the new construction.

The setting sun was in our eyes as we tried to scan the skeletal building for signs of Pauline and Donkey Kong.

"Luigi, Mario. Hey! How did you get past the cops?" This was Chuck. He and his boys were on the ground here, this side of the building.

"Where's Pauline?" asked Mario as Chuck came running up.

"On the other side. About 5 stories up."

Mario took off in that direction.

"What does he think he's gonna do?" Chuck asked me.

"I don't know. But it's Pauline. I'm gonna help him." I said, running off after Mario.

We ran through the center of the structure. Before we were halfway through the building we saw Pauline and the ape perched precariously atop a steel beam. The police spotted us just then. I recognized Dr. Irvine with them. All of them were yelling at us to stop and leave the scene. I reflexively stopped at their command. But not Mario. He'd hardly taken his eyes off of Pauline. When he was about 15 feet from the skeletal structure that would soon be an outer wall, he jumped. And when I say he jumped, I mean _he jumped!_ It was like watching a Jedi Knight, Michael Jordan, or Thor the Avenger. I could hardly believe my eyes. His fingers grabbed the lip of the steel crossbeam of the second floor and, using his forward momentum, swung himself up onto the scaffolding. From there, he climbed and jumped and rolled like a parkour pro up towards Pauline. Several of Chuck's crew had their phones out, filming the surreal scene.

Donkey Kong grew especially agitated as Mario made his way up. The ape was grunting and pacing. He set Pauline down on the railing (which she hugged for dear life) and began chucking items at Mario. Anything he could get his hairy hands on. Drills, welders, plywood. Somehow, Mario was able to dodge all of it. The frustrated gorilla shook the scaffolding, causing it to tilt and half-collapse. Mario tumbled onto another steel beam off the scaffolding. Donkey Kong grabbed up his prize once more and climbed a ladder to a higher floor.

All of us on the ground gasped as Kong leaped across a corner from one beam to another. Amazingly, he did not fall or drop Pauline. I pulled at my hair with both hands in overwhelming fear for her.

As Mario shortened the distance between him and Kong, the great ape set Pauline down a second time and resumed his assault with with the surrounding construction supplies. This time he had access to a 55 gallon steel drum, which he currently made ballistic. Again, Mario's reflexes astonished me. He picked up a sledgehammer and deflected the barrel without so much as slowing his pace. The strike of hammer against barrel made an enormous racket and seemed to put fear in the eyes of the beast.

What was happening? What was I looking at? How the heck was any of this happening? It was like a dream. Mario let the hammer fall from his grip as he now used both hands to catch the next beam he was jumping for. Donkey Kong gave up attacking and resorted to escape. He tore Pauline off of the beam she was grasping onto for dear life and started ascending even higher up the structure.

"Mario, stop!" Pauline screamed from within the tight grip of the ape who was climbing higher and higher up the soon-to-be building. She knew Donkey Kong. She could tell by the tension in his muscles and his jerky eye movements that he was scared. He was scared when she first saw him on the other side of the fence. But now he was terrified. Pauline could hardly calm him down when she herself feared for her life. And now there was no hope with Mario aggressively pursuing.

"Mario!" Pauline yelled again. "Seriously! Stop! You're only making it worse!"

"Don't worry, Pauline," answered Mario. "I've got you. Trust me. It's me. I'm Mario." He smiled at her with a twinkle in his eye, even as he climbed heights he couldn't possibly survive a fall from.

Donkey Kong reached what was at the time, the top of the structure. A moment later Mario shared the topmost beam with them. Here, there was nothing to throw and therefore nothing to dodge. Neither Mario nor Donkey Kong seemed to know exactly what to do next.

"Mario, please," cried Pauline, "just climb back down. You've put me at more risk by scaring him up these beams."

"Pauline, I need you to trust me," Mario said. "When I get close enough, I need you to grab on to me as tight as you can."

"Mario, stop! You're out of your mind. The only way I have a chance of surviving this is if you _get down!_"

Mario looked off to the side. Then back at Pauline. "You're cute when your mad," he said. Then he jumped. About 10 feet from the side of the building was a steel beam suspended by a V strap at the end of a crane. His feet landed on the beam while his hands gripped the strap. The momentum caused the whole beam to swing out and then swing back in. As the beam came in, it broadsided the beam Kong was on, knocking him off balance. It also brought Mario close enough to grab Pauline just the ape released his grip on her. Mario and Pauline swung back on the suspended beam while Donkey Kong flailed his giant arms, trying to catch his balance. The gorilla overcompensated and fell forward. He fell several stories before hitting the scaffolding, breaking through board after board on his violent descent. The whole section of scaffolding now collapsed completely, obscuring any view of the poor animal's likely demise.

Elvin Gadd was the first to the pile of steel and wood that once made up the scaffolding. He pulled away as much debris as was needed to climb into the tangled mess. He found Kong, breathing but unconscious.

"Come on, big guy," he encouraged. Gadd shook his shoulders. "Come on."

The gorilla's eyes flickered open.

"I know you don't want to see me. I know you don't want to go. I know you like it here," Gadd said, knowing full well he was understood. "I do too. It was fun while it lasted. But those days are over. After all of this, they're not going to let you be free. They might not even let you live. You're a danger to them now. We have to go home."

"Doh Kee…" Donkey Kong weezed.

"Doh Kee? Dr. Keyes? Is that what you are trying to say? No. She's afraid of you now. She will always be afraid of you now."

Donkey Kong shut his eyes in defeat. "Home?" he grunted.

"Yes. It's time to go home."

I saw the ape fall. I saw the scaffold collapse. But my eyes were glued to beam suspended way too high, precariously supporting the only two people in this world I would die for. Chuck was talking with the police and pointing at the crane. A second later, one of the cops used his megaphone to tell Mario and Pauline to hold on tight to the straps because Chuck was going to gently lower the beam. I watched the eternal descent with bated breath. If Chuck jolted the crane and caused them to fall, so help me…. Before they had reached the ground, I heard crashing over at the rubble pile. I turned to see Kong and a short man running out of the mess towards Crotana Avenue. Knowing now that Mario and Pauline were almost to safety, I chased after the escaping duo. That stupid ape meant alot to Pauline and I was not about to let it disappear on her when I had the power to at least follow it.

I lost sight of them as they ran through the middle of the construction site but I knew they couldn't have gotten too far. When I emerged on the other side of the site, I still saw no one. No one, that is, except for a young woman in an aqua colored dress who was standing on the street.

"Over here!" she yelled. "They went this way." She was pointing down. Down at the manhole cover Mario and I came out of. "They went in the sewer."

Having no reason not to believe the woman, I ran towards the street. As I got closer, I thought the girl looked oftly familiar but I couldn't place it. I climbed down into the all too familiar sewer. Sure enough I could hear the sound of feet splashing some distance around the corner. I followed the sound with all the speed my legs could muster.

Turning the corner, I could see them. Both the man and the ape were about a hundred yards ahead of me and about to make another turn.

"Stop!" I cried out.

The short man turned my direction and ran even faster, pushing on the ape's back. They did not make the turn as I suspected they would. Instead, they climbed into a rusty pipe, about 4 feet wide and disappeared into the shadows. Where the heck was this guy taking Kong?

Arriving now at the rusty green metal pipe, I was hesitant to crawl in after them. For one, I have never seen a pipe like this. Who knew what unsavory liquid might come crashing over me. Or how much. Or when. But it was either follow after them into the unknown or tell Pauline that I lost Kong because I was too much of a chicken to enter the pipe. That settled it. I jumped into the pipe.

A few steps in and my feet started to slip. It felt like I was sliding forward, almost as if the pipe was slanting downward. And then my feet gave way and I fell. Not down onto the pipe but down _through_ the pipe. I saw no bends on the walls and yet I was now somehow falling straight down. It was like gravity shifted so that down was actually in front of me. I screamed bloody murder! You better believe I did! I'd be dead as soon as I hit whatever was at the bottom.

I saw light below me, at the bottom of the pipe. Did the pipe dump into a lit room deep underground? Suddenly my gut rolled. It was if gravity was now suddenly pulling at me from the direction I just fell. But the momentum kept me going against the fickle gravity. I was shooting upwards toward the light instead of falling into it. But my momentum was failing fast. Just when I thought I would be sucked back down the pipe, I exited into fresh air and was able to put my foot on the outer edge of the pipe, which somehow was sticking up from the ground. I fell hard forward, flipping over the edge and landing on my back grass and roots some four feet below. Too dizzy to stand, I rolled onto my side and vomited.

That taken care of, I slowly stood and tried to take in the scene around me but my brain rejected the signals my eyes sent it. I was in a lush green paradise. On the side of a mountain or a volcano or something. There was a jungle not too far up the mountain from where I was. The sun was setting to my left (which I could swear was the east - although I did just get all turned around). It would have thought I was somehow in Hawaii if it wasn't for the hundred foot mushrooms rising out of the valley to my right. Where the heck was I?

I turned to see the short man, who currently looked quite perturbed, standing by the rusty green pipe protruding from the mountainside. Kong was nowhere to be seen. He'd probably headed into the jungle.

"You shouldn't be here," said the man. "You need to leave."

I noticed a familiar looking mushroom growing at my feet. It looked just like the mushroom Mario had on his pasta except with green spots instead of red. Suddenly pieces began to fall into place. The strange turtle, the flower that gave me an unnatural power, Kong appearing in the city a few months back, the mushroom that Mario ate - which looked just like this mushroom and which must have given _him_ unnatural power - it all came from here! This was what I was looking for.

I bent down and plucked the shroom.

"No! Don't!" yelled the short stranger.

I took a bite.


	4. Chapter 4

CHAPTER 4: MINUS WORLD

Three months later, everything was different. But perhaps not in the way you might have expected. No, I was not embarked on an epic adventure through a fantastical world. But I was embarked on a grocery shopping excursion at the local Super Target. And for the first time in forever, I didn't have to sweat the budget.

The guys from Chuck's crew posted the videos of Mario scaling the unfinished building to save the mayoral candidate from the already famous Kong. It's not amazing that the videos went viral. It would have been amazing if they didn't. Those videos led to interviews on the local news and then on national news and even appearances on late night talk shows. Mario started being referred to as Super Mario. Now everybody wanted to know more about this mysterious, happy-go-lucky, fat boy. Big surprise, the world found our crappy local TV commercials and started re-posting them as if they were actually worth watching. Before I knew it, the Mario Bros were celebrities.

Business started to boom. All the debts were paid. Employees were hired. Nancy got her job back. Sort of. We let her run the reception desk. More capable people took over books and scheduling. The name of the company was changed to The Super Mario Bros so that our business would pop up when people searched for Super Mario. I reduced my hours to only four days a week and picked up baking again.

So, there I was at Super Target, cart full of ingredients, and pocket full of cash, when all of a sudden I see, walking into the opposite end of the sugar aisle I had just entered, Daisy Dayflower. Dang! Hopeful she didn't see me, I turned my cart around and zipped over to the dog food aisle. I don't even have a dog. I was about to pull in but then…. What the heck! There she was again! Keep moving. Oh crap! How did I end up in the tampon aisle? There was no escape this time. Daisy came in from the other end. I was caught. And it was obvious that she saw me when I was in the first aisle and had been tracking me down. Well, hopefully she didn't know that I saw her. That would be awkward.

"Luigi!" she said, a little too loudly.

"Oh, hi, Daisy," I said, trying my best to sound pleasantly surprised.

"Were you trying to avoid me just now?"

Dang!

"What? What are you talking about. No," I lied.

"I think you were."

"But I just saw you just now," I lied again. "Why would I try to avoid you?"

"Honestly, I'm not quite sure. Except that you don't want to talk to me for some reason. Why wouldn't you want to talk to me, Luigi? Is it because of what happened at Randall and Dotty's wedding?"

"I wasn't trying to avoid you. Nothing happened at Randall and Dotty's wedding."

"So, when Mario asked you if he could set you up with me and you said no and then Mario, in front of you, tells me that he asked you and you said no….that wasn't embarrassing to you? I mean, that sort of thing wouldn't be embarrassing to me but you're kind of an awkward guy. I can imagine it being embarrassing to you. But believe me, it would have been a lot more embarrassing if you said yes. Because, I would have said no. I'm not really into awkward guys."

She wouldn't stop talking. And even if she did, how would I - how would anyone respond to the things she was saying? So I did the only thing I could think of to get her to shut up. I bent over and kissed her. Smack dab on the lips.

"Hey!" she pushed me away. "Don't do that! Why did you do that?"

"What?" I asked. "Did I embarrass you? So sorry."

"Ugh!" She growled and walked away.

"What? You're just gonna walk away?" I said. "You were the one who was chasing me down."

She huffed, turned, and stomped toward me.

"Where's Gadd?" she asked.

"Who?"

"Professor Elvin Gadd. The one who let Kong out."

"What makes you think I know?"

"Because Mario was there and I assume he speaks to you."

"Mario doesn't know. If he knew, the whole world would know. He's not one to keep his mouth shut. Why do you want to know anyway?"

She looked down and fingered a large coin that was dangling from her necklace.

"He was my professor. He's a good man."

"Well," I said, "half the world is looking for him. And Donkey Kong. So just keep watching the news, I guess. I'm sure he'll show up."

She slapped my face.

"Ow! What was that for?!"

"For kissing me."

She turned and left me staring dumbfounded for a moment. Before I could recover from that whole interaction, Daisy walked back into the aisle. Only this time she was blushing.

"I didn't come to the store to talk to you," she said as she removed a tampon box from the shelf and left again.

My phone dinged.

"Get to the office ASAP!" a text from Mario read.

ASAP was an hour later. I had to get those groceries purchased and put away. As my taxi driver pulled up to the new Super Mario Bros complex, I found myself still amazed - even after having it for a month. It used to be a Chevy showroom. There was glass everywhere. The logo on the building was big and colorful. Each letter of MARIO was stylized with a different primary color. Our building was like a smaller version of the Googleplex and housed a fleet of work trucks (most of which were currently out on the job). The trucks were wrapped in graphics that featured a newly designed, 3D rendered cartoon of Mario and myself. Gone was the crude, hand drawn art.

As I entered the reception area, light from the setting sun reflected and refracted in all the glass. I felt like I was on the set of CSI Miami. Remember that show? Nancy greeted me from the round reception desk. She was watching a TV that was mounted from the ceiling. It was playing the episode of The Tonight Show that Mario appeared on a few weeks ago.

"I could watch this a hundred times," she said. "It's just so cool that he got to meet Jimmy Fallon!"

"Hey," I said. "Where is Mario? He told me to come as soon as I could. What's up?"

"He's still talking with the cops. He should be done soon, I imagine."

"The cops?! What happened?"

"Don't get your panties in a twist. It was nothing big. We just had a visitor, that's all. That professor guy. The guy that caused all that trouble as the zoo, you know?"

"Really? Is he still here?"

"No. He was looking for something he thought you or Mario might have. But he looked all paranoid and in a rush. Mario had no idea what he was talking about. But Mario didn't really care anyhow. He was asking as many questions as the professor. He wanted to know where Kong was. Mario was all in a hussy. You should have seen him. Anyway, Shorty lost his patience, I guess, and ran off. By Shorty, I mean the professor, not Mario. So Mario called the cops, figuring they would probably want to know he came by."

"What did he think we had?"

"I don't know. Ask Mario. They were both talking so fast, I couldn't keep up."

I texted Mario to tell him I was there. He replied and said he'd be in in a minute. I turned my attention to the TV while I waited.

"So, you probably get this question all the time but I just have to ask it," Jimmy Fallon was saying.

"Where do I get these good looks?" offered Mario.

"Well, Ok. Sure. Let's go with that one," said Jimmy.

"I don't know but if there's any bachelorettes out there that want to see this genealogy continue, let me know."

"He's so funny." Nancy said.

"He's so pathetic." I countered.

"So you're saying your not dating anyone right now?" This was Jimmy again. "There's been a lot of rumors about you and mayoral candidate, Pauline Keyes."

"Some of those rumors might be true," Mario said. "Depends on what you've heard. We had a thing once. We're kind of like Jerry and Elaine from Seinfeld. But no, I'm not dating anyone."

"So, what I was actually going to ask you was, what's your last name? Is it Mario? Is your name Mario Mario?"

"Yeah, I knew you were going to ask that. I do get asked that all the time. It makes sense, right? We're called the Mario Brothers after all. But no. My last name in not Mario. I honestly don't know what my last name is. My brother and I were separated from our parents when we were too young to remember our last names. We were raised by a man who never officially adopted us so we never got his last name. He was holding out hope that we'd find our parents. Anyway, when we were kids, Luigi was real shy. He would hardly even make eye contact with people. So when adults got to know us, they would mostly get to know me because I would actually talk to them. And so my name would stick out to them. They would call us Mario and his brother. Over time, it just kind of evolved into the Mario Brothers. So, we've been called that since we were kids. It's kind of cool having just one name. Like Madonna or Slash or Sia or whatever."

"How were you separated from your parents?" Jimmy asked.

Of course, I knew the story and had also seen this episode before, so it didn't matter that Mario came into the reception area before I could hear him re-hash those traumatic times.

"Took you long enough, little bro." Mario said.

"Professor Gadd was here?" I asked.

"Yeah, he was waving around some coin, demanding to know where I got it from."

"A coin?"

"Yeah. He was also demanding I tell him where his coin was. I assume he means another one, besides the one he was holding."

"Did he say where he's been?"

"No. I asked him. And I told him what you think you remember."

"You told him?" I asked. "But you don't even believe me."

"Look, I know that in the past I said your word was enough for me to believe you. But when you crawled out of the sewers after chasing Kong, you didn't say anything about magic pipes and other worlds. That wasn't until days later. You have to admit, it sounds like you had a vivid dream. Besides, you had a head injury at the time, remember? Regardless,I wanted to see what would happen if I bounced your story off of him - since you claim to remember him in that other place."

"What did he say?" My interest was peaked. All I could initially remember from chasing the professor through the sewer was turning a corner then blacking out. When I came to, I was standing alone in the sewer with a terrible headache and a feeling of total confusion. Over the next few days I began to have faint memories of events that seemed impossible. Like following the professor through a magical pipe into another world. But there was no pipe down there. Ok, that's not true. It's a sewer system. There's lots of pipes. But that pipe wasn't there. But, if it was just a dream, how do you explain a man and an ape disappearing without a trace from the Bronx?

"Well, that's the interesting thing." Mario said. "When I told him your story, he started mumbling to himself. Something about a minus world or something."

"A what?"

"It sounded like he said minus world."

"So what you're saying is that he reacted to my story with something other than incredulousness?" I asked, getting a little excited.

"Incredulity?" Mario corrected.

"Whatever!"

"Yes. He wasn't incredulous. He was, I don't know, concerned? Almost as if he might get in trouble for something."

A thought struck me.

"What did the coin look like?" I asked.

"I don't know. It was about yea big." He put his fingers in a C formation about the size of a sand-dollar. Do sand-dollars come in different sizes? I don't know. That might be a bad description.

"Was it silver or gold? Was there an image on the coin?" I asked.

"It was gold. Why?"

"What was on it?"

"Oh, I don't remember… Wait! A moon. It was a moon, I think."

"Hmmm. That parts different." I said to myself.

"Luigi," Mario said, "what are you talking about? Do you know something about the coin?"

"I saw Daisy today."

"Daisy Dayflower?"

"Yeah. Just like an hour ago. She was wearing a coin like that on a necklace. Only it didn't have a moon on it. It had like a tree or something. Anyway, she just so happened to be looking for the professor. He was her professor. Did you know that?"

"So, you really think you followed him through a pipe that no longer exists." Mario asked.

"To be honest, I don't know what happened. But I do know that I have memories of….stuff. And I really want to figure out why. And maybe it's all related to how you were able to bounce around that construction site."

"The doctors said it was adrenaline," said Mario.

"I don't know. I don't think so. You can't forget about my fire throwing."

"Well," said Mario, "whatever happened, it seems like we just might find at least some answers by talking to Daisy."

"Yeah. That's gonna be awkward." I said.

"Why?"

"I kinda sorta kissed her," I admitted.

"Mama Mia!"

"It's not what you think. I'll explain later. Do you have Daisy's contact info?"

"No. But I can probably get it from Randall and Dotty. But it'll have to wait till after the shoot." said Mario.

"Shoot? What shoot?"

"What do you mean, 'what shoot?' The commercial shoot that got bumped up to today."

"You never told me about that." I said, more than a little frustrated.

"I sent you a text."

"You did not. The only text I received from you today said 'Come to the office ASAP'".

"That's the text I'm talking about!" said Mario. "Come to the office ASAP to shoot the commercial."

"But you didn't say shoot the commercial." I pointed out.

"Well, I was a little distracted. The professor came in as I was texting you."

Of coarse Mario considered that a perfectly logical excuse. I sighed.

"When are we supposed to do this? I don't even have my overalls." I complained.

"Oh, you don't need those old things. We've got new ones. Let me show you."

His excitement was making me nervous. I followed him into his office. Hanging on a rolling clothing rack were two outfits. They were pretty much the same as the ones we used in the other commercials but brand new and better quality. My overalls came with a long sleeved, dark green t-shirt. Mario's came with red. Clipped to the overalls were fiddler-caps that matched our shirts.

"You've got to be kidding me," I said. "I'm not wearing that hat."

Four hours later we wrapped on filming and I was starving. So much for having a day off. It was evening now. As I walked walked out of the building to catch the Uber I ordered, I saw a black limousine with its engine running in the parking lot. The back door opened and out stepped Rocco Delvecio.

"Nice hat," Delvecio said. I had forgotten I was still wearing the clothes from the commercial shoot. "Hop in the car. We have business to discuss."

I told Mario we should have never gotten involved with him.


	5. Chapter 5

CHAPTER 5: SIX GOLDEN COINS

"It's my understanding that Mario has some sort of relationship with Pauline Keyes," Delvecio said as we drove through the streets of Brooklyn to who knows where. A pock-faced man with a sour expression and an expensive suit sat across from us. He never took his eyes off of me.

"Some sort," I agreed. "But not like he once had."

"And do you?"

"To an extent." This conversation was making me very nervous. I knew Pauline had been coming down hard against Delvecio in her speeches. There could be serious consequences if I answered any of his questions wrong. I wiped a bead of sweat from my forehead.

"Good. I'm glad to hear that," Delvecio said. "I was afraid I might have to make my proposition to Mario. Don't get me wrong. I love the guy. And maybe I just don't know him enough but it seems he can be a little...hard-headed sometimes." Though I couldn't disagree, I knew Mario would be able to handle this encounter far better than I could and I kind of wished he was there instead of me.

"You boys really helped me out a few months ago," he continued. "Sure, I returned the favor and you could say we are even. But why stop there? If we benefited so much from each other, why not look for more opportunities to do so? You scratch my back, I scratch your back. You know what I mean?" Unfortunately, I did. This is exactly why I told Mario I didn't want to have anything to do with him in the first place.

"I think you're going to like my proposition." Delvecio said reassuringly, patting my shoulder as if he could tell I needed some encouragement. It didn't help. "I want to help you keep Ms. Keyes safe."

I swallowed hard.

"As you know, she has been chucking rocks at beehives lately. The bees are starting to get pretty agitated. They might start stinging, if you know what I mean." He gave me a hard stare before continuing. "Unfortunately, she thinks I am one of those bees. But I'm not a bee at all! I'm more like a flower. Am I not like a flower?" This last question was directed to Sour Face.

"You are very much like a flower, Mr. Delvecio." Sour Face responded in a gruff voice.

Delvecio turned back to me. "I'm a chef and an entrepreneur. But I guess when you're rich and Italian and you live in New York City, people make assumptions, you know what I mean? Your business is booming. Pretty soon you'll know what I'm talking about first hand, no doubt. Gangsters aside, you may have noticed Ms. Keyes has other problems. What she has in the way of charisma, she lacks in funding. Her opponent, Mr. Van Beuren, is a millionaire with an extensive and compelling ad campaign. I suspect his campaign is partially funded by some of the illegitimate businessmen Keyes is attacking. Because why wouldn't they, right?

"I believe I can help on both fronts. Due to my reputation, unmerited as it is, I have been able to make some interesting friends. The sort of friends that can keep your friend safe from the real mob. The sort of friends that have the sort of information that can help Ms. Keyes take down the crime syndicates. Furthermore, I have the resources to fund a game-changer of a campaign. I guess that makes three fronts I can help out on."

"But how would you…." I began. He knew as well as anyone that she was not so stupid as to accept an illegal bribe from a gangster.

"Through a Super PAC opened under your name, Luigi," he answered. "And all I want in return is for her to get off my back. As I've already made clear, I am innocent and do not deserve this bad publicity."

"I don't know how to run a Super PAC," I pointed out.

"No worries. We'll take care of all of that. We just need to use your name. What you need to do is convince Ms. Keyes to back off. Tell her you're starting a political action committee with some well-to-do associates. Or don't tell her that. I don't care. Just get her to back off. If you do, my team will saturate television, radio, and social media with ads. We'll make T-shirts and hats. We'll host conferences with reputable speakers. All under your name. All for Ms. Keyes' benefit. Are you catching my drift?"

How the heck was I supposed to get out of this situation? I'd prefer to get out in the alive sort of way. One option was to go along with his ideas. They were compelling in a way. I wondered if Pauline would sacrifice taking down Delvecio in order to take down the other syndicates. Probably not. In that case, the only thing I could think to do was bluff.

"What's in it for me?" I said in my best attempt to sound confident. My voice was shaking as I said it. Dang!

"Well, excuse me!" Delvecio roared. "I was under the impression you cared about Pauline's success and safety." He drew out the last three words. Especially the last word. Yikes!

"I do," I conceded with downturned eyes and a weak, defeated voice. Dang! Why did I have to suck so bad at bluffing?

"Good. So, we have a deal?" he asked.

Suddenly there was a screeching of tires and me and Delvecio were lurched forward into Sour Face's seat. The limo driver had hit the brakes. For a half second I thought I saw a woman through the windshield. Was she trying to hail the car? A loud thud indicated we did not stop soon enough. The driver jumped out of the car, presumably to check on the girl. I jumped out after him, followed by Delvecio and Sour Face.

About ten feet in front of the car, illuminated by the headlights, was a young woman with platinum blonde hair in a teal sequin dress sprawled out on the asphalt. The driver rushed to check her pulse. Hearing the sound of several people running, I turned my head to see three men in suits in hot pursuit of - well, I wasn't quite sure. But they were heading our way.

"There she is!" one of them shouted. "She's been hit."

"That's Delvecio!" another one said. "He's trying to get the flash drive."

All three men pulled out guns. Delvecio and his two boys also pulled out guns. Then I noticed the girl on road move. She wasn't dead after all. She reached into her purse, pulled out a red spotted mushroom, and tossed it my way. She moved so fast, I almost wasn't ready to catch it. She was not acting like an individual who was just hit by a car. But then she went back to playing dead. Her movements were subtle enough that nobody else even noticed them in the commotion. Delvecio and gang had taken positions behind the car, with gang number two on the opposite side. This all happened in the span of three racing heartbeats. I jumped to my belly on the road at Delvecio's feet, behind the car, terrified of getting shot. From my viewpoint under the car, I could see feet shuffling, trying to get to the girl, it seemed. But every time they would make a move in that direction, Delvecio would fire his gun. I had no idea if Delvecio knew the significance of whatever that girl had but he wasn't about to let something go that an opposing gang wanted that badly. Whenever he tried to maneuver closer to the girl, they would fire their guns.

"You hired her, didn't you?" the other gang accused. "And now that she has the flash drive, you no longer need her. Figures."

How the heck was I going to get out of this? I know what you're thinking: eat the mushroom, stupid! But you have to understand, I was caught in the crossfire of six gangsters. My brain was incapable of common sense. It was too busy sounding an alarm in my head - YOU'RE GOING TO DIE! YOU'RE GOING TO DIE! YOU'RE GOING TO DIE! I'm not totally sure, but I think I may have been mumbling those words through trembling lips as I grovelled on the asphalt. And anyway, it's not like eating a mushroom to save yourself is exactly common sense. All I had were suspicions that it was the red and white mushroom that gave Mario the superhuman ability to flip around that construction site like he had. I didn't have any facts. However, after several gunshots, it finally did occur to me that testing out the mushroom may be a viable option. I bit down and swallowed. Several seconds passed. Nothing happened. Dang! A few more seconds. Wait a minute, what's this? My body slowed it's trembling. My mind began to focus. Confidence began to swell up within me. Suddenly I wasn't terrified of being shot. Rather, I was mad. Furious even. What made these gangsters think they could get away with doing whatever they wanted at the cost of the innocent? This could not go on! Not if I could help it.

I got into a crouching position, grabbed the bottom of the limo, and flipped it on its side, causing the opposing gangsters to jump back. I then pushed the upturned car towards the gangsters, running with it. I pushed it over the sidewalk, knocking over trash cans and newspaper dispensers, and pinned the three attackers between a storefront and the car.

Delvecio, Sour Face, and the driver all stared at me with a mix of astonishment and relief. But I was not on their team. And it was time I let them know. Just as a smile began to form on Delvecio's face, I slapped the pistol from him with my left hand and slapped his face with my right hand. Before anyone could react, I turned and grabbed Sour Face and slammed his ugly head into the bottom of the upturned car, knocking him out. Before he could fall, I threw him into the driver, incapacitating him. I then turned back to Delvecio, grabbed his jacket, and pressed him against undercarriage of the limo.

"I will NOT be intimidated by you!" I spat into his face. "And you will not mess with Pauline! If you even attempt it, so help me!" I slammed his head against the car, leaving him unconscious on the road with his cronies.

I nearly jumped when the blonde woman in the evening gown came up behind me. OK, I did jump.

"Come on!" she said. "You've got to get to the warp zone before Gadd. If he gets there before you, you won't be able to go through. The other coin is missing."

"Wait," I said. "What are you talking about? Who are you? What's a warp zone?"

"My name is Rosalina. The warp zone - you know - where the pipe is - in the sewer in the Bronx where you chased Gadd last time. Hurry up. Call you brother. Have him meet you there."

"Why? What's going on? I don't under...hey where are you going?"

She had already turned her back on me and started running. She stopped for just enough time to say, "I've got to delay Gadd. Hurry up!" With that she resumed her run. As she ran, light shimmered around her and she vanished. Did my eyes deceive me? Where did she go? She was gone. Disappeared into thin air!

A growing crowd was forming around the scene. Some of those people saw the girl vanish. They were equally curious about how I just flipped a car on its side and beat up a bunch of thugs. I could hear sirens in the distance. This Rosalina girl said if I didn't hurry up and get to the - what did she call it? - warp zone? - that I might miss my opportunity to ever enter it again. I didn't have the slightest clue why it mattered to her but it mattered to me. I was not about to miss my chance to cross into another world and prove to myself that I'm not insane. The cops would have a lot of questions that would certainly delay me. Better not stick around. I took off running as fast as I could. Actually, it was far faster than I could. I must have been running thirty miles an hour! As soon as I was out of site of the crowd, I stopped and hailed a taxi.

I called Mario from the cab. Knowing that I didn't have time to waste arguing or over-explaining anything, I started off with the magic words: "Mario, I need your help."

"Alright, I'll leave as soon as I can," he said after hearing the basics. "Just give me a minute to change."

"No. There's no time," I insisted. "She said Gadd will close the portal."

"You said she was blonde?" he asked. An odd question, I thought. "Like really blonde? Almost white? Straight hair?"

"Yeah. Why?"

"Like the waitress at Delvecio's who gave me the pasta with the same type of mushroom she just gave you?"

"I don't know. I can't remember…. Wait! Oh my gosh! Yes! What the heck? I think that was her! Come to think of it, she's the same girl who helped me find the professor after the Donkey Kong incident."

"Hopefully, she'll show up in the sewer and explain things. Anyway, I got Daisy's contact card. You want me to send it to you?" I could tell from Mario's voice that he was running. Good.

"Yes. Please."

After hanging up with him I called Daisy.

"Hey Daisy, this is Luigi."

"Where did you get my number?" She complained. She's so pleasant, I thought to myself, sarcastically.

"What do you know about that coin you were wearing around your neck today?" I asked, ignoring her question.

"Why? What do you know about it?"

"I know your old professor is looking for it." I was only guessing but if I was right, this should get her to talk.

"You said you didn't know where he is," she said.

"Things have changed."

"Where is he?"

"I'll tell you as soon as you tell me about the coin."

"I don't think that's any of your business."

"Ok. Fine. I'll talk to you later then. I've got to meet Gadd in a few anyway."

"Wait! Why are you meeting Gadd?"

"What do you know about the coin?"

"Alright, fine! A couple months after Professor Gadd went missing, they had an estate sale and were selling off all his stuff. I bought the coin necklace there."

"Why?" I asked. "Of all the things he must have owned, why that? Why anything, for that matter?"

"I don't know. I liked it. What do you want me to say? I don't know anything else. Now you tell me where Gadd is and why you're meeting him."

"He's on his way to the sewers near the Bronx Zoo. If you come to Crotona Avenue, behind the new LaGuardia High School they're working on, I'll have a manhole cover open. Bring the coin." Rather than listen to her complain about meeting in the sewers or ask a million questions, I hung up the phone.

After getting dropped off at Crotana, my first objective was to figure out how to get the manhole cover open. I did not bring a crowbar. When Mario was shrooming out, he was able to open it with his fingers. Would I? Yes! I slid my finger in the notch and lifted. It tipped up easily. No way! This whole mushroom induced superpower thing was fantastic! Now I needed to make sure cars didn't accidentally drive over the hole. That could be disastrous for the driver and I didn't have any cones. Not seeing any cones around I could steel, I pushed a dumpster in front of the manhole. I know, putting a dumpster in the middle of the road is not exactly safe either but at least it was more visible.

I dropped in the hole. Now I just had to remember which way to go. Hopefully Rosalina was able to stall Gadd. If she wasn't, would the pipe be gone - vanished like last time? I ran around bend after bend. Doubtful I was going the right way, I turned around and ran down other paths. Getting lost in the sewer would not help my cause.

But then I saw it - an old, green, metal pipe, large enough to walk through, sticking four or six feet out of the wall. I ran to it, sloshing waste-water over the new outfit Mario bought for the commercial. I looked into the pipe. Oddly, the pipe ended at the wall. There, four or six feet into the pipe, was the same brick surface that made up the walls of the sewer. A dead end. Not what I expected. Did that mean Gadd had already gone through? How curious.

I examined the outside of the pipe. For the first time, I noticed round indents set into the rim of the pipe. Six of them, equidistant from each other. Each of them had a large gold coin in the indent. That is, each of them but one. Gadd's words to Mario as well as Rosalina's words to me were starting to make sense. Did the coins work as keys to open the portal? Gadd must have thought me or Mario had the coin that Daisy now had. Though, why he thought we might have it was beyond me. Too many questions. Hopefully, I'd be getting answers in the next few minutes.

On the other hand, maybe I'd get those answers now. I heard sloshing behind me and turned around to see Professor Gadd as he turned the corner. He froze as soon as he saw me.

"I knew it!" he said. "I knew you had the coin!"

As he walked closer, I saw that he had a bleeding gash across his eyebrow and a bruised cheek. What did Rosalina do to stall him? I could also see he was carrying a satchel. Light was emanating up from within the bag.

"I don't know what you're talking about," I said honestly.

"Well, you're here, aren't you? About to go through the warp pipe. Just like you've been doing for a while."

"I'm here because Rosalina told me to come. But I don't have any coin."

"Who's Rosalina?" Dang! I was hoping dropping that name would get me somewhere. "And how did Mario get ahold of one of our mushrooms if one of you doesn't have the coin?" he asked.

"I think he got the mushroom from Rosalina. Look, I'm not a bad guy. I'm not up to any trouble." I raised my hands to show that I was harmless. "I don't even know what's going on. I think you know more than I do. I have some weird, vague memories of following you through this pipe. Once. Just once. Mario told me you said something about a minus world. What's that?"

He walked cautiously toward me, eyes flicking now and then to the pipe. I assume he was trying to figure out how to get to it without letting me in. After a moment, and to my surprise, he answered me.

"A minus world is a world that no longer exists. It is a span of time that happened and then was erased."

"I don't get it." I said.

"Of course you don't. What do you know about this?" He removed a gold coin from his jacket pocket.

"Is that like the coin you think I have? I don't know anything about it," I admitted, "except that I know someone who has one just like it."

That got his attention. "Who?" he demanded.

"If you wait a minute, you'll see. And then we can all go through the pipe together." Crap! I could tell from his eyes that that was the wrong thing to say. As curious as he was about who had the coin, he was more concerned about people using his portal. He reached into his satchel, pulled out a mason jar which was glowing with a blinding light, and smashed it on the ground. A floating orb of light almost too bright to look at, floated up from the shattered remains of the jar. He reached his hand into the light. Suddenly his whole body began to glow softly. It was as if his hand absorbed the mini sun thing.

He charged toward the pipe. Little did he know, I was superpowered myself. I didn't glow but I was strong and fast. I jumped in his way to stop him. To my suprise, energy coming from his body repelled me back, off my feet, into the wall behind me. Before I could get up, I saw him place the coin in the empty slot and jump into the pipe. Getting up was difficult. That energy blast did a number on me. All my bones and muscles ached. I limped toward the pipe. The very coin he just placed vanished. Almost immediately after, the entire pipe vanished. Dang! Dang! Dang! This couldn't be happening! Did I just miss my one and only opportunity to get into that other world? Even though Daisy apparently had another key, the pipe was gone. "Dang! Dang! Dang!" I yelled as I dropped to my knees in the waste water and pummeled the floor with my fists in a desperate tantrum. Defeated, I crawled on hands and knees, uncaring of toxicity and germs, to the wall, and leaned against it. I had failed.

Some twenty minutes later I heard more sloshing in the distance. People were calling my name. It was Mario and Daisy. They arrived at the same time.

"I'm over here," I said weekly.

Following my voice, they found me. What a sight I must have been, sitting in the sewer, soaked through with sewer water, chin resting on my chest.

"Oh my gosh! Are you OK, Luigi?" Mario asked.

"It's gone," I said. "He went through the pipe and it vanished."

"Professor Gadd?" Daisy asked.

I nodded.

"What happened to you? Are you alright?" Mario asked again. Now he was close and inspecting me.

Daisy gave me a cursory glance and turned her attention to the nearby area, probably looking for clues that might indicate what transpired. As she stepped closer to the area where the pipe was, it partially reappeared. She froze. I couldn't believe my eyes. Actually, I couldn't quite make sense of what I was looking at. It was like seeing something in the light of flashlight. Only the front of the pipe could be seen. The rest of it kind of faded away into nothingness. Daisy looked at us. She took a step forward. More of it illuminated. To test the phenomenon, she took a couple steps back. It disappeared.

"I think it's your necklace," I said as I pushed myself back into a standing position.

She held out her necklace. Sure enough, it made visible part of the pipe.

"What in the world….I….How….?" She was stammering.

I saw that five gold coins were still in place.

"It's the warp zone," I said. "It's the way to the other world."

"Another world?" Daisy asked. Under any other circumstances, that would be ridiculous, but seeing a large, metal pipe appear and disappear made anything seem possible.

"If he didn't want us to go through," I said, "he should have removed another coin."

Mario and Daisy looked at me, wondering what I meant.

"Place the coin on your necklace in the empty slot," I said.

She took off her necklace and placed it in the slot. Suddenly the entire pipe became visible and solid. The wall that blocked the inside of the pipe when I first arrived was not there. Water that was dripping from the end of the pipe started to move backwards into the pipe.

"Now what?" Daisy asked.

"Now we go through," I said. All three of us looked at each other, wondering who would go first.

"Wait for me!" a woman's voice said behind us. It was Rosalina. How did she get here? She didn't even make any sloshing noises.

"Who are you?" Daisy asked. Rosalina didn't respond. She walked between us and put her hand on the pipe.

"You are coming too, right?" Rosalina asked me and Mario.

"After you," I said.

She entered the pipe. We could see her take a few steps before she started to slip forward. And then it was as if she started to fly into the darkness beyond. Mario and Daisy's eyes were wide as saucers. My turn. I stepped into the pipe and turned towards the others. "See you on the other side."

I took a few steps forward. It was just like I remembered. In fact, my memory of the last time became more vivid as gravity started to pull from somewhere in front of me. This time my foot slipped on the wet metal and I fell on my back. I didn't hit hard because gravity had now shifted such that it was like I was falling down the pipe. I fell through complete blackness. My stomach was in my throat. The fall was longer than I remembered. Then all of a sudden the gravity reversed and I was thrust against it by momentum only. I felt like a human-rocket being shot into the air, feet first. Of course this meant that I was about to exit into the other world. Tiny drops of water pelted me as dark and blurry images instantly replaced the previous total blackness. I had emerged into a stormy night. Thanks to the mushroom, I had enhanced agility and was able to flip my body in the air and land on the sill of the pipe.

Rain assaulted me and thunder crashed. This was not what I was expecting. The light of a lightning bolt momentarily revealed a most horrific sight. Dozens of reptilian monsters carrying crude weapons surrounded the warp pipe. Every last demonic-looking eye was on me. Furthermore, Rosalina and Professor Gadd where in the grips of those heinous beasts.

"Get him!" one of them yelled.


	6. Chapter 6

CHAPTER 6: THE MUSHROOM KINGDOM

One of the reptilian creatures reached out to grab me but I was able to flip over its head from the top of the warp pipe and land behind it. Another one swung a clawed hand at my face. I ducked the attack and brought my shoulder up into its stomach. I knocked the giant, two legged turtle off its feet but was surprised by the hardness of its plastron chest armor. My shoulder complained sorely.

Now yet another was thrusting a short sword at my torso. I was able to dodge it three times before the monster's leader demanded he not kill me. Still, I spun away from the one with the blade. They were all around. There was no way I could fight all of them regardless of my enhanced abilities. Suddenly there was a flash of light. Not lightning. Though it felt like it. Something had crashed into my skull, sending me sprawling face first into the mud. I rolled over to see a creature standing over me with a hammer. I threw my hands up to indicate I had had enough.

A familiar voice cut through the sounds of growling monsters and roaring stormwind. It was Mario, screaming as he ejected from the pipe, flailing through the air and finally landing on his shoulder in the mud. Before he could make sense of what was happening, one of the turtles pulled him to his feet and held his arms behind his back. I was handled likewise.

Daisy emerged seconds later. Only her fall was not as eloquent. She hit her leg on the edge of the pipe on her way to the ground. I could hear the crunch of bone even over the cacophony around me. She cried out in pain. A monster tried to lift her to her feet but when it saw that she could not stand, it picked her up like a baby.

"Are there any more of you?" the leader asked Gadd. This one looked a little different. It was still turtle-like but rather than having a beak like the others, it had a reptilian snout. It was also darker in complexion and had spikes on his shell. Gadd shook his head in answer to the creature's question.

Rosalina made eye contact with me and Mario. "I'm sorry I have to leave you," she said. "but I was told to bring you here and get back. That's all I'm allowed to do." She looked genuinely sorry. She slipped out of the monster's grip as easily as walking through vapor.

"Hey!" the monster yelled, frustrated, as it tried and failed to grab hold of her again. Rosalina removed the coin necklace from the pipe and started to run away. No claws could find purchase on her. As she ran, she began to glow and shimmer and then finally vanish just as she did in the city. All the monsters gasped. Some uttered the word "Star Sprite" in amazement.

The leader looked especially panicked. "Who else is a Star Sprite?" he yelled at us. If any of us knew what that even was it would be the professor but he remained as silent as me.

"Cut them to find out!" the spike-backed leader demanded of his servants.

"No!" Mario and Daisy protested at once. But there was nothing we could do. One of the giant turtles with a knife quickly gave each of us a slice on the arm. It hurt like crazy. And as if cutting us wasn't enough, the beast held open our cuts with its nasty hands to watch the blood spill. I was sure that if I survived this, I'd get salmonella from the reptile's fingers on my open wound.

The leader, turning his attention away from us, scooped a clump of mud from the ground, and dropped it into the pipe. There was a shallow splash and a thud indicating that the pipe ended at ground level and was starting to fill with rain water. He then plucked one of the coins from the lip of the pipe and examined it. Some realization seemed to have occurred to him. He pulled a small cube from his belt and yelled into it.

"Attention Thunderstruck. This is Ground Force Leader Bon Bjornin of Division 13 with an urgent message for Captain Lakitu. I repeat, I have an urgent message for Captain Lakitu."

A distorted voice answered from the cube. "This is Thunderstruck. We acknowledge. Please stand by."

A moment passed.

"This is Captain Lakitu." A voice finally said. "What is your message?"

"We have apprehended four humans who were traveling with a Star Sprite." Bon Bjornin reported. "They have just emerged from a warp pipe. Furthermore, the pipe's jumpgate seems to have been unlocked by the six Royal National Coins. Five of the coins are in our possession but the Sprite ran off with the last. The jumpgate is now closed. Alert King Koopa immediately. We are located directly under Cloudship Thunderstruck. We will wait here for the King."

Lakitu's voice matched Bjornin's in urgency. "Ignite a beacon. I will escort the king to your position at once."

One of the turtles heard his cue and lit some sort of flare.

"Hey Boom Boom!" Mario yelled against the storm.

Bon Bjornin turned to him, apparently amazed at Mario's audacity. "Yeah, you." Mario said. "What's the matter? You and the rest of the Ninja Turtles were expecting the pizza man and got us instead? What's your beef with us?"

"Beef?" Bjornin asked.

"Why are you holding us like prisoners of war? We haven't done anything."

"You _are_ prisoners of war." Bjornin answered.

"What war?" Mario asked. "We're not fighting you."

"That's not my problem." Bjornin smiled.

"Who wants a banana?" a voice suddenly shouted. We all turned to Gadd. What an odd thing for him to say at that moment! "I said, who wants a banana?" he shouted again. Some of the turtles looked at each other, trying to make sense of the scene. I looked at Daisy who knew him best. Even she looked bewildered.

Bon Bjornin walked over to the professor. "Oh, _you_ want a banana?" Professor Gadd shouted into his face. "A nice...big….yellow…..BA NA NA?"

Bjornin tapped Gadd's head with his finger. "I think this one's broken."

"I think this one wants a big, fat banana!" Gadd yelled.

"BA NA NA!" a deep, guttural voice roared from behind us. Before I could turn around, a large shadow crashed through the scene, knocking turtle monsters left and right. This new creature was hairy. Donkey Kong! I could see now. It was Donkey Kong! He must have come from the jungle behind us. Bjornin took a fighting stance but one ape-whack to the skull and he dropped hard and fast.

Donkey Kong picked up the professor and ran off down the mountain side. The creature holding me threw me to the ground and joined the others in chasing after the ape and professor. For some reason he appeared to be a higher priority than us.

I was free. Instinctively, I started to run. Where to, I had no idea. Just away. The opposite direction as the monsters. But wait. What about Mario and Daisy? I made an abrupt stop. Mario was running toward Daisy who had apparently been dropped in the mud. Why wasn't that my first instinct? Sometimes I just hate myself. I ran to help Mario. He was just lifting her to her one working leg when a turtle noticed them. It grabbed Mario's shoulder, causing Daisy to fall back into the mud with a cry of pain.

I ran as hard as I could. I could still feel the effect of the mushroom in my blood. I jumped and kicked the turtle with both of my feet in its face. Why I thought I could pull off a move like that I cannot explain - other than something like adrenaline compelled me. The creature fell, unconscious. I landed safely on my side in the mud. I hurried to Daisy. Mario and I lifted her to her feet and supported her weight as we tried to escape towards the jungle up the mountain.

The tree line was not far away now. If we could get in there, our chances of hiding were much better. Unfortunately our eyes were mostly on the ground before us as we tried to usher Daisy over rocks and stumps in the muddy grass. All three of us bumped into one of the beaked creatures. He must have run around us undetected. He did not immediately attack but stood there contented with his catch. I think it was the same one who hit me with the hammer. He was wearing the same crude helmet and carrying the same sort of crude hammer.

"Now wait a minute." it said. "You two look an awful lot alike. Are you brothers?"

We tried to turn and run but there was another one of those creatures who looked identical to this one walking up behind us, gripping a hammer. I don't know. Maybe it was that one that hit me.

"That's my brother behind you." The first one said. "Hey look, Mosher, they're brothers like us."

We were trapped between the two.

"It's a beautiful thing to see brothers sticking together through thick and thin." Mosher said. He flipped his hammer in his hand. "From one set of brothers to another, welcome to the Koopa Kingdom." In the blink of an eye both "hammer brothers" swung their hammers, one at me, the other at Mario. I saw a flash and then nothing but total darkness."

I awoke to find myself lying on my back in a pitch black room. The only reason I knew I wasn't blinded was because I could see a figure standing some fifteen feet away whose red clothing stood out in stark contrast to the blackness around. With growing terror, I realized I could not lift my head to get a better look at the figure. I was paralyzed. The only thing I could move were my eyes.

The figure walked towards me. My heart began to race. It looked like something from a nightmare. It was only as tall as a child but as wide as a man. It wore a hooded robe, the sleeves of which hung past the hands. A thick belt strapped around the center. The hood, if you could call it that, did not have an opening for the face. It was almost like a red sheet draped over the head with sleeves. Strapped over the face area was a white mask with large circle openings for eyes and one small circle opening for a mouth. I could not see through the holes. They were empty black pits. The little nightmare man did not walk so much as glide.

It stopped at my side and seemed to just stare at me for a moment with those giant pits. Then it bent down and put its "face" mere inches from mine. My heart was racing and my breathing was rapid.

And then it spoke.

"Dream Waker?"

Its voice was a whisper but it wasn't quiet and definitely more like the voice of a man than a child. The voice reverberated and echoed in the dark chamber and cut through my soul like an ice cold knife. A tear trickled from my eye.

I believe I heard a question in its voice rather than a statement. I also believe I detected a foreign accent. Maybe Asian? These things I noticed instantly and did not dwell on. My thoughts were on whether or not I would live out the next few minutes. Before I could pass out from fear, the whole scene faded away. It was only a dream.

As my consciousness came flooding back, so did the sensation of being drenched by torrents of rain. My head throbbed. I blinked a few times before fully opening my eyes to this harsh reality. I was sitting up, tied back to back with Mario. A spear that was plunged to the ground between the two of us kept us from falling over and drowning in the rainwater as we might have otherwise, being unconscious and all. Our silly fiddler's hats kept the majority of the water out of our faces.

I'm pretty sure Mario was still unconscious. A few yards away, Daisy sat in the mud, hunched over to keep the rain out of her face. I noticed only her hands were tied. I guess with a broken leg she didn't seem like much of a threat to them. She looked up for just a moment. She was gritting her teeth in pain. When she saw that I was conscious, she turned her eyes down again. Was she disgusted with me or was I just misreading her pained face?

Not too far from where I was tied up with Mario, an enormous creature was talking with Bon Bjornin who had obviously recovered by now. How long had I been out?

This new, large creature was perhaps the same breed as Bjornin. It too had a spiked shell and tail and that monstrous snout. But it was at least nine feet tall with two large spikes extending from its head. Based on Bjornin's subservience, I guessed this was the king.

It was talking relatively softly and yet I could hear it's deep, rumbling voice over the rain. What a fearsome creature!

"No. The invasion is off." it was saying. "The human most likely alerted the others. Their military will be ready for us. This was supposed to be a surprise attack. I will not risk losing resources we do not need to lose."  
"With all due respect, your majesty," Bon Bjornin said, "We have the cloud ship. They don't know about that. That will keep our cover and provide firepower they certainly cannot be expecting."

"I appreciate your zeal, Bjornin." the King said, "I do _not_ appreciate you forgetting your place. You will lead your division to Yoshi Island. The other divisions will meet you there. I have ways of weakening their defenses from the inside. When I give the order, we will advance. No sooner."

A monster face appeared before mine, startling me.

"Look!" it said. "It's awake!"

This creature was smaller than the rest and even more turtleyer. Oh shut up! I know that's not a real word. Let me tell my story. It wore large leather-banded aviation goggles over its eyes.

Bjornin and the king turned their attention towards me. The massive monster king approached while the others took their place behind him.

"So, you are the one with the answers?" it asked.

"What! Why do you say that?" I asked, truly surprised by the question. "I don't have any answers!"

"The girl said _you_ are the one who lured her here. She said _you_ knew how to activate the portal. And she said _you_ refused to give her any information."

"Daisy! Why?" I asked her. She didn't even look up.

"Where do you come from?" the king asked.

"Earth. I come from Earth."

I could see anger flaring up in the giant monster's eyes. He took a deep breath and blasted a stream of fire from his mouth that blazed over my head, burning the top of the spear.

"Don't lie to me!" he said. "The girl said you come from a place called New York."

"Yes, yes. New York is a place on Earth." I said, squirming. "I come from New York on Earth."

"What is your association to the Six Realms?"

"I don't know what the Six Realms are. I never heard of them."

"Do you work for the Pianta Syndicate?"

"Who?"

"Ishnail Robbo?"

"I don't even know what any of that is! I work for Super Mario Brothers Plumbing in New York City. I'm just a plumber."

"The crime syndicates have been after the Royal National Coins for years. How did you steal them? How long did you have them before the respective governments discovered they were missing?"

"If those are the things in the lip of the pipe, I didn't steal them. I never even had one of them. Daisy had one. But she got hers from the professor. She didn't know what it was. The professor had all of them as far as I can tell. It's him you should be questioning."

"Mama Mia!" a weak voice said behind me. Mario was coming to. The king was still more interested in me for the moment.

"What's your relation to the Star Sprite?" he said. Each of my answers seemed to make him a little angrier. I would have rather been interrogated by Delvecio again. At least he didn't spit fire.

"I've only talked with her for a few moments. She gave me a mushroom and told me to go to the pipe before the professor closed the portal. So I did. It was obviously a bad idea listening to her. I don't know who she is. I don't even know what she is!"

"She gave you a what?" the king asked.

"A mushroom." I answered.

"A mushroom. Why? And this professor that you think I should be talking to instead of you - according to my commander he nearly killed three of my soldiers when he came out of that pipe. He was radiating energy. Until his power waned. Is he a sorcerer?"

"I seriously doubt he's a sorcerer but listen, I swear, I don't know anything. I just want to go back home." I knew I sounded pathetic. But maybe the turtle dragon would have empathy.

"Captain Lakitu," the king called, "take our prisoners to the ThunderStruck. We'll see if Junior's unique methods will convince them that honesty is the best practice."

"As you wish." the little, begoggled fellow said. I wouldn't have pegged him as the captain. He detached a control pad of some sort from his belt and started pressing buttons. A thick fog began to form around us regardless of the driving rain. The fog compressed and consolidated into a dark cloud about ten feet wide and floating only inches from the ground.

"Mosher, Drixxer, Korvin," Bon Bjornin ordered, "help the captain get these humans on the shuttle."

One of the two that wasn't Mosher addressed Mario as he started loosening the spear from the ground. "Glad I don't have to watch. Junior is a maniacal sicko. You'll see. But at least he gets results."

"You ain't taking me anywhere!" Mario cried as he attempted to wiggle free from his bonds. As futile as it was, he kept at it.

"Now look what you've done, Korvin" said Mosher. "You've gone and got them all scared. Now it's gonna be a struggle moving them."

Mosher came over to help. He bent down, grabbed me and Mario in a tight bear hug, and lifted while Korvin pulled at the spear. Two seconds and several bruises later, we were on our feet.

There was a streak of red light. Korvin screamed and flew backwards.

"Kinoko Zoku!" Bjornin warned. "Attack!"

"Protect the prisoners!" roared the king.

Coming into view now was what looked like large, stubby mushrooms charging up the mountain toward us, shouting a war cry and welding glowing weapons of some sort. The turtle monsters raised their crude weapons and charged the shrooms. A few stayed behind, turning their backs so that their shells protected us from from whatever might come blasting from the mushrooms' strange weapons. Mario and I, still tied to each other and the spear, tried running which proved impossible to coordinate on the spot. We immediately fell over. Two of our guards lifted either side of the spear we were tied to. They may have had orders to keep us alive but they sure didn't care about our comfort. They heaved and chucked us into the small cloud. Daisy was thrown in after us. She cried out in pain. The cloud was not made of any perceivable solids. There were only progressive levels of incorporeality. Captain Lakitu and the king also boarded the cloud shuttle. I could just barely see Lakitu from my awkward angle fiddling with his control pad again. We lifted into the air quite suddenly. I could feel myself pressing into the fluff and feared the G forces would push us through the bottom.

Something long and skinny and glowing red zipped up from the bottom, just missing my head, and continued into the air. Then another one a foot away. Arrows. Those screaming mushrooms where shooting glowing, red arrows at us! I screamed. Mario screamed. Even Lakitu was screaming.

An arrow struck the control pad. The pad sparked and sputtered.

"Bring us down. Bring us down!" Even the king sounded concerned. Lakitu made an adjustment and we descended so fast I felt like I was going to float right off the cloud. A loud pop accompanied a flash from the control pad and the cloud came to an abrupt stop. All five of us pierced through the bottom of the shuttle but did not fall completely out of it. Yet.

The cloud began to dissipate. We all tried as best as we could to position ourselves into safe falling positions. The cloud became a loose fog and we fell five feet to the ground. Fortunately Mario and I were able to twist just enough to land feet first. The spear pierced the ground again and again we were prevented from being mobile. Poor Daisy also landed feet first but on her broken leg. She screamed and collapsed as she went unconscious.

I could see the mushrooms better now. Maybe they weren't mushrooms after all. They were little people. Very human looking except for that thing on their heads. It looked like a spotted mushroom top. Was it a hat or part of their head? Most carried glowing white staffs which illuminated their dark colored double breasted uniforms. Others bore crossbows loaded with those deadly red arrows.

The little guys were angry, fierce, and fast. Even with their small numbers they seemed to be overpowering the stronger, armored turtles. The light staffs flashed as they made contact with their victims, sending them reeling back.

The king spit a stream of fire at one the mushroom people. In the blink of an eye the mushroom man rolled twice and landed in a high speed run, just managing to avoid the long lasting beam of fiery death following his movements. As soon as the king stopped his blast to take a breath, the mushroom man slid in close enough swing its light staff at him. The king blocked it with a spiked wrist guard and returned the blow with his other claw. The man tried to block with the staff but the staff was shattered. The king spun around and whacked the man with his spiked tail, sending him soaring through the air.

Captain Lakitu was hiding behind the safety of his king, yelling commands into his crystal communicator. "Thunderstruck, descend! Prepare for pick up! Deploy Spineys! Switch to hail!"

Mario began to rock back and forth.

"Come on, Luigi," he said, "rock with me. No, no. In unison. Yes, like that."

His idea was working. The spear was coming loose from the wet earth. It wasn't as deeply stuck as it had been earlier. Suddenly it was free. Only instead of hopping away, we fell again. Our momentum, exaggerated by the steep slant on this particular spot sent us sliding through the mud head first down the mountainside.

One of the creatures chased after us down the mountain. Mud splattered our faces as Mario and I slid on our arms with the spear between us. I could see that we were rapidly approaching a rock that could certainly kill us at this speed. Just pass the rock was a knife-wielding monster waiting to finish us off if the rock didn't do it. I thought they had orders to keep us alive. I guess this one didn't care.

I shut my eyes and braced for impact. The burnt butt of the spear hit the rock. I was jolted against the ropes that bound us. To my surprise, the momentum lifted the head of the spear several feet, just high enough for the unsuspecting monster who was chasing us to run into it. His momentum was added to that of the spear he was now impaled upon and he was lifted into the air, turning me and Mario upside down. The spear completed its arch, crashing the skull of the impaled creature into the skull of the knife-wielding one, leaving both in a heap.

One of the mushroom men came upon us and cut our bonds. Finally we were free! Mario and I reached for the weapons of the fallen turtle monsters but were fiercely warned against doing so by the little man.

"No weapons until we know who you are," he insisted, his own knife held out threateningly.

Suddenly the dark sky grew darker as the stormcloud above us seemed to be falling. The rain stopped and a moment later was replaced by hail. The turtles pulled their limbs into their shells and laid belly-down on the ground.

"To the jungle!" one of the mushroom people cried. They seemed as concerned about the hail as Mario and I. Perhaps those mushroom tops were not as protective as they looked. Sure enough, I could see damage appearing on them from the pelting of quarter sized ice even as I felt it doing a number on my own head and body.

Fortunately, some of the shroomers lifted up the still unconscious Daisy and tried to protect her from the hail as they ran up the mountain. Mario and I threw our arms over our heads and ran with the others.

Something much larger and heavier than hail thudded into the ground just in front of me. It was a dark red ball three feet in diameter, with about six or nine bony spines protruding all around it. Another one landed twenty feet in front of me, just barely missing a mushroom man. They weren't just spiked balls. They were alive. I could see them starting to move. They opened up like roly polies. They had four stubby legs and a small head that did not extend past the segmented, red, spiked shell. Again, these things reminded me of turtles. Everything in this world seemed to resemble turtles or mushrooms. Those things started chasing us. And more were falling all around! It's not like we could look up into the hailstorm to see where they were falling either. We just ran as fast as we could. Were these things being aimed at us or dropped randomly? Better not take chances. I imitated the others, zig zagging back and forth.

Darn those spiney sea turtle things! They were smarter and faster than I guessed. Two at a time would try to sandwich a victim in between them. I had to stop suddenly to avoid such an attack. As I shifted directions, another one came up behind me. A slight poke in my butt cheek proved it was at least as fast as me. I could tell that the effects of the mushroom I ate were all but gone but I wondered if I still had enough agility to …..

Yes! I jumped _toward_ the creature, feet landing on its shell, hands grasping the spines. It immediately shifted its vector to ram into another spiney. I crawled to its backside. The two creatures still crashed and then separated. Hopefully they weren't smart enough to organize a crunch from all sides. I think it actually gave up on me though because it started chasing one of the mushroom men.

From my vantage point, I could see that the shroomers would occasionally swing their glow staffs or shoot their arrows to slow the creatures down. It barely worked. They were heavily armored buggers. I could also see that the shroomers picked Mario up. Good. There was no way he would be able to outrun those little beasts.

Finally we made it into the forest but the canopy of foliage didn't completely stop the hail that was beating and bruising us and it certainly didn't stop the creatures that were determined to spike us to death. I jumped off the one I was riding, grabbed ahold of a tree branch, and climbed to safety. The others also took to the trees.

To my horror, the spineys proved to be efficient tree climbers.

"Mama mia!" Mario cried out. "Do these things ever stop?"

At least as the creatures climbed the tree, their vulnerable areas were better exposed. Glow staffs and arrows hitting faces and underbellies successfully knocked several of the creatures off the trees.

Where was Daisy? Ah, there she was. The mushroom men somehow brought her up a tree where she now rested in the nook of a branch, still unconscious.

After a few minutes of relentlessly defending our positions in the trees, whilst suffering the hailstorm, there was a high pitched shrill that sounded from outside the jungle which seemed to summon the spineys to it. They turned, almost reluctantly, from us and shuffled back out of the jungle.

A few moments later we appeared to be relatively safe. Especially if we kept our heads directly under the larger branches to protect from the hail. But then, just as the first mushroom man started to climb back down a tree, a lightning bolt crashed into the jungle, splitting a tree, sending several mushroom men falling in all directions from it. BOOM! Another bolt struck the ground. BOOM! Another one hit another tree. Lightning was striking everywhere! Within moments, the jungle was on fire and tree limbs were falling left and right. At this point it seemed safer to be outside of the jungle. Those of us still in trees lept out and starting running back to the clearing we came from.

When we exited the flaming jungle, we saw the open mountainside, now devoid of monsters - spiney or otherwise. The lightning seemed to have stopped now. It was only a quick attack before that dreaded stormcloud - which I could only assume was the Thunderstruck cloud ship - lifted high into the air and floated away from the mountain, presumably carrying the turtle king and his subjects.

Now free of the shade of the stormcloud, the mountainside was bathed in bright moonlight which caused some of the hail covering the ground to sparkle like diamonds. However, the hail closer to the fire reflected the firelight and made it appear as if that portion of ground was ablaze. The heat compelled us to keep moving downhill. I saw that Daisy was being carried. I chided myself for not being able to help any better than our little heroes.

"We need to get her medical attention," Mario said to the shroomers. "Do you have supplies? Is there a hospital nearby? Do you even know what any of these words mean?"

"We have supplies here," said the one who earlier pointed his knife at us. In the brighter light I could see the uniforms were blue. But the one speaking had a gold trim that followed his buttons and circled his cuffs. I assumed this meant he held a different rank than the other soldiers. "There is a hospital in the valley but we're not going there," he continued, "We'll do what we can here. We will take her, and our wounded Kinokos, to the castle for treatment. The three of you will be questioned there."

"It doesn't sound like you're giving us a choice," said Mario.

"Indeed, I am not," said the man.

"So first we are prisoners of the turtles and now…" Mario began.

"Koopas," interrupted the man.

"What?"

"They're not turtles. They're koopas."

"Whatever. And now we're _your_ prisoners?"

"Listen, Chubby, you were just in the company of our sworn enemies who should have had no way of even getting this far into our realm. You're coming with us, willingly or otherwise. If you want to consider yourself a prisoner, that is your business."

"Who are you anyway?" asked Mario.

"That's a funny question coming from a trespasser into _my_ land. But I will tell you regardless. I am Captain Toad. Captain of his majesty's palace guard. A position deserving of respect whether you respect me as a person or not. And when you approach the princess, you best show some respect then! And who, pray tell, are you, overweight human?"

Mario smiled at me. Oh no! Don't say it. Please don't say it.

"It's me. I'm Mario."


	7. Chapter 7

**CHAPTER 7: THE MUSHROOM KINGDOM**

Bowser, king of the Koopa, walked the wooden deck of the Thunderstruck toward his chamber, carrying the five apprehended Royal National Coins. Unlike the shuttle, this vessel was made of more substantial materials and only _adorned _in synthetic cloud.

Bowser briefly turned his eyes towards one of the several propeller-topped masts which, to his great annoyance, presently made a racket and prevented cloud from forming on the upper portion of the ship. Fortunately it was night and the vehicle would hopefully go unnoticed by those below. Unless they heard that infernal noise. He snorted in irritation.

Bon Bjornin trailed behind the king. The two of them met Captain Lakitu, who just finished setting the new coarse, outside the doors of Bowser's chamber. Bowser wanted to speak to both of them.

"This ship was at maximum capacity _before _having to bear the weight of an entire ground force." Bowser said sharply. "The propellers were not intended to be in use while the cloud is on. And they weren't intended to share the weight-load of an overladen ship. The Kinoko Zoku knew we were there." Bowser did not hide the accusation in his voice.

"Sire, the human who escaped…." Bjornin began.

"They were already there!" Bowser interrupted. "The human would not have had time to alert the Kinokos and have them mobilize as soon as they did."

"Are you suggesting treason, Your Majesty?" asked the captain.

"I am suggesting carelessness," he answered. "Whose idea was the beacon?"

Lakitu lowered his head. "It was mine, Lord."

Bowser was disappointed. He would have much rather have to punish Bon Bjornin. "When we dock," the king said, "consider yourself demoted, _lieutenant_ Lakitu. But not without means to enter my good graces again. Find those humans. Bring them to me. Preferably alive. If you succeed, we'll reconsider your rank."

"Yes, Lord." Lakitu bowed.

"Bjornin," said Bowser, "I want you and your force off my boat as soon as we reach Hightail Falls."

"Hightail Falls?" asked Bon Bjornin. "I am unfamiliar with the place. I thought…"

Bowser's nostrils flared and released smoke. Bjornin got the message.

"We will disembark at Hightail Falls and await further orders," Bjornin corrected.

"Both of you," said Bowser, "see to it that I am not disturbed for the next hour."

They nodded as Bowser turned and entered his chambers. He locked the door behind him, set the coins on a table, and unlatched one of the steel, spiked wristbands he wore. Hidden in a cut-out in the inside of the steel cuff was a key. He plucked it out and used it to unlock a chest that rested on the floor. He removed a highly ornamented music box and set it on the table near the coins.

The top coin caught his eye. He picked it up and examined it. It bore the image of a _lower koopa, _as they are called - the unintelligent, animalistic, koopas that crawl about on four legs. This was not one of the six Royal National Coins. Why would another nation have a koopa on their coin? He flipped through the others. Yes, he knew the rest of them. What this one coin was and how it was used in conjunction with the real Coins was beyond him. He would certainly look into it later. The important thing was that it was capable of opening the portal.

He returned his attention to the music box and cranked the handle on the side. When it was fully wound he released the handle and watched as the mechanics began to animate. Twinkling music began to fill the room with its magic.

On the top of the box, two polished brass Koopa warriors mechanically swung hammers down upon a brass mushroom from opposite sides. The two koopas turned clockwise around the mushroom that was turning counterclockwise. Below the rings that supported the top scene, was a network of interlocking gears. A couple brass piranha plants would rise up from the gears, chomp at the air, and descend back into the gears in time to avoid a collision with the rotating koopas.

This intricate music box was designed as a weapon against the Koopa. It was given in the form of a gift. But the Koopa's enemies' plan backfired. Now in Bowser's possession, it was a weapon currently being used against its own creators. Within moments Bowser would be using it to gain access into lands his people have been forbidden from for hundreds of years.

Daisy, only half conscious now, groaned as one of the Kinoko Zoku transporting her misstepped on the rocky slope and jolted the makeshift stretcher on which she lay.

"Captain Toad, can't we give her some more of that medicine?" I implored.

"I'm afraid not. Too much balm is not good for the brain. Besides, more of it would not relieve the pain anymore than what we already applied. It only takes the edge off - like hard drink. But we'll be at the castle shortly. There is better medicine there."

Though I wished they could do more, I was impressed with what they were able to do. A few of the Kinokos carried backpacks full of supplies. Those packs became the center of a well organized routine. Short rolls of a sturdy, silky fabric were removed and used to wrap around glow staffs to form the stretchers needed to carry the injured (of which there were three). The same material was wrapped around the glowing red arrows to form a splint for Daisy's leg.

Finally we were nearing the bottom of the mountain and could see the lights from the city in the distance. For Daisy's sake, arriving at the castle could not come soon enough.

I noticed a clump of tiny little mushrooms growing together and quickly plucked a handful.

"Let's give her these," I suggested.

"Those are minish caps. They're used in salads. They have no medicinal value," Captain Toad replied. To prove the point, he took one and ate it.

"Yes, but you said you've never heard of any mushroom causing the effects that me and Mario experienced."  
"Purportedly experienced," Toad interrupted.

"And yet we experienced them," I continued, ignoring his comment. "We were made faster and stronger - healthier, if you will. Maybe the mushrooms have a different effect on us than they do on you. Maybe these will make her healthier."

"I'm not stopping you," Toad said. "I just demonstrated that they are harmless. Be my guest."

I held the minish cap mushrooms to Daisy's mouth.

"Here you go, Daisy," I coaxed, "eat these. They might make you feel better. Go on now. Try it. Come on."

Daisy groaned.

"Not the small ones or the purple ones. Not the small ones or the purple ones," she mumbled.

"Come on, Daisy. These could help. Just a little bite." I said.

"Not the small ones or the purple ones." She clamped her mouth shut and turned away from the mushrooms.

When I tried to force them into her mouth, Captain Toad stopped me.

"Now wait a minute," he said, "she may be more aware than you suppose. There are purple mushrooms that are poisonous. And if she knows that, than she may know some reason why the small ones are dangerous to her as well. Maybe she has an allergy to them."

"But how would she know? She's not from here." I pointed out.

"Maybe she'll tell us when she's feeling better but for now I suggest you respect her wishes."

I put the mushrooms in the front chest pocket of my overalls.

"Captain!" another Kinoko called, "Reggie's not doing well. I think we're going to have to remove his topper."

Toad rushed over to the stretcher carrying the mushroom man who was the most seriously injured. If I'm not mistaken, it was the same fellow who was whipped in the face by the Koopa king's spiked tail. The mushroom thing on the top of his head - which I now assumed they called a topper - was very damaged. Only about two thirds of it remained. The man also had serious cuts across his face. He was presently pale as a ghost and sweating profusely.

"Am I gonna die, Captain?" asked Reggie. His voice was weak and quavering.

Captain Toad looked at the man who first called him over here. "Do it."

Reggie's eyes went wide. "Do what? What are you gonna do?" he asked.

"We have to remove your topper," Toad said.

"No!" Reggie protested. "I fought valiantly against the Koopa. If my injuries are fatal, so be it. Tell my kids I love them. Tell the Princess I died protecting the kingdom. Just don't remove my topper."

"I don't get it," Mario said. "Why is that a big deal? Why would he rather die?"

Mario was genuinely concerned. I knew he couldn't stand to watch someone lose their life if there was anyway to avoid it. "Is it pride?" he asked. "Are these toppers some source of pride with you people? If that is the reason, for God's sake get over it and save the man's life!"  
"As a matter of fact," answered Toad, "it is a matter of pride. But it's much more as well."

Toad looked to Reggie. "I'm sorry, Reggie. This is for the best. Remove it."

The palace guard used two hands to pry the topper off. Reggie attempted to resist but he was too weak. As soon as the topper came off, Reggie passed out, his moist bald head reflecting in the moonlight.

"Is he dead?" I asked.

"No," Toad said. "Removing the topper is hard on the body. He'll recover."

"What do they do?" I asked.

"You've really never seen a Kinoko before? Amazing." Toad said. "Toppers absorb energy from the sun and turn it into energy for our bodies. Without it, we are weaker than humans. It is part of us. Sadly, the toppers also contain about three years worth of memories, giving us photographic memory for that time." Toad paused and looked me in the eyes. " His children are two and three years old. He won't remember them."

"Dang." I said solemnly.

"Was it really killing him?" asked Mario.

"Though the toppers give us energy, if it is damaged enough, it will drain energy from the body to repair itself, like a wounded tree. Yes, it was killing Reggie."

As magical as stepping into another world may be, we travelers were too heavy hearted at the moment to discuss the wonder of it all. We walked on down the mountain in silence.

A half hour later we were on flat ground, walking through the city streets of Mushroom City, the capital of the kingdom.

After seeing the simplicity of the weapons of this world, I expected their civilization to be equally simple. I imagined medieval villages lit by torches. I imagined horse drawn carriages carrying little mushroom people down dirt roads. What I actually saw was quite different.

At a glance, one might confuse this as some place in modern Connecticut or England. Tall, skinny Victorian houses lined the streets, some with picket fences, some with wrap-around porches, all sitting on small, well manicured lawns. Well hidden electric lights illuminated the trees and plants and even the sides of the houses, revealing this culture's love of color. There were no grays or tans and only a few whites. Each homeowner seemed to take great care in selecting the color scheme for their lattice-work, shingles, walls,trim, and so forth.

The non-residential areas were comprised of blocks of city buildings, equally as colorful. These too were Victorian in style. I don't know if you've heard of The Painted Ladies in San Francisco. If not, you should look them up. The Painted Ladies are a section of pastel-colored city homes that have earned themselves a place on many a postcard. These Mushroom Kingdom city buildings reminded me of those.

The streets were paved with brick and upon them drove cars that looked like they were from the 1940s - only they must have been electric because they hardly made a sound as they passed.

The other thing that surprised me was the people. Only about half of the people out and about at this time of night were Kinoko Zoku. The other half were human. That explained Toad's lax reaction to seeing our race.

Now in the metropolitan area, we saw a staircase descending underground with a sign that read Warp Zone. It looked like a subway entrance. We descended the stairs.

Underground was indeed very much like a subway station, complete with ticket booths. The primary difference was the lack of tracks. Instead, large, rusted pipes of red or green or gold ran the length of the large corridor. Many of the pipes had vertical openings that people could access via platforms.

"Wow!" I said, "look at all those warp zones!"

"Those are not warp zones," Captain Toad corrected.

"But they're just like what we went through to get here," I pointed out. "And the sign out front…"

"Those are warp pipes. This is a warp zone."

The other Kinokos giggled at my confusion.

"A warp zone is a place where warp pipes are." Toad explained condescendingly. "You'll have to jump with me or another of the palace guard. Our insignia work as keys to open the jumpgate. The pipe won't work without a key."

"So the people buying tickets...do they have keys?" Mario asked.

"Their tickets are the keys," Toad said, "but they won't open the pipe to the castle. Only our insignia will."

"What about Daisy?" Mario asked. "Aren't these things dangerous?"

"Regulation pipes are safe." Toad answered.

I could see others stepping off the platforms with their tickets and dropping into the pipes. I could not guess how this could be safe.

"Come," Toad said to me.

We walked the platform and stood before the open pipe.

"On the count of three…". Toad counted and we jumped in. Like before I fell through total darkness. After two or three gut-wrenching seconds gravity shifted and my feet landed on the floor of the pipe. The momentum caused me to walk forward fairly quickly out of a horizontal pipe. I wouldn't exactly call that safe but neither was it as dangerous as the pipe we used in New York. We exited onto a brick paved area under a canopy. All around was rolling grasslands with purposely placed trees and shrubs and topiaries. The paved area turned into a road which wound through the elegant landscaping to a gorgeous castle about a half mile ahead.

"Get out of the way," Toad instructed. He pulled me away just in time for the two Kinokos carrying Daisy to come briskly out of the pipe. I noticed the pipe curved into the ground. How odd! I did not realize we were twisting so much in our short pipe travel. The grassland we were standing on was actually a large hill and was separated from the rest of the city by an ivy covered wall. I only know the city was behind and below because I could see through the windows in the wall.

A few moments later our entire party was safely on castle property and boarding some sort of trolley.

As we approached the castle, I could see moonlight reflecting on a massive lake behind it. I could also see the shadow of mountains in the distance.

The palace guards who were presently on duty at the castle rushed out to meet us. I could hear them shouting, "Lower the drawbridge," "Injured Kinoko," "Alert the medics," "Summon the princess."

The drawbridge lowered, we crossed, and parked in front of the massive structure.

"We'll take your weapons to the charging docks," one of the guards said as he and his associates took each soldier's staff. Other soldiers took over carrying the stretchers.

"I'll take our guests to the princess," Toad said to his company. "The rest of you go with the injured. Get yourselves checked out."

We entered the castle through large wooden doors. Both me and Mario tried to go with the Daisy but were prevented by the captain.

The interior of the castle was as luxurious as the exterior, boasting modern sophistication and ancient architecture. It was as if The Property Brothers got their hands on an old German castle and had an unlimited budget. I felt out of place, covered in mud, with tattered clothes and scraped and bruised skin.

All sorts of people, both human and Kinoko came out of halls and down stairs to see what all the ruckus was about. A young woman appeared on the balcony who gasped at the sight of us.

"Stars above!" she exclaimed as she hurried down the stairs. "What happened? I heard there are injuries."

"A few," Captain Toad said, "Reggie's the worse off. We had to remove his topper."

Now at the bottom of the stairs she rushed over to inspect Toad.

"I'm fine," he said. "but we need to talk privately."

She now turned her eyes towards us. The gaze of her eyes took my breath away. She was gorgeous with pale skin and dirty blonde hair. She wore a sleeveless, pink Victorian dress that did not seem as heavy or cumbersome as some Victorian dresses I've seen. The extremely detailed gown seemed to bear some Asian influence as well. Lotus blossoms rose from the hem. She wore long white gloves that stretched over her elbows. This woman was the very picture of a fairy tale princess.

"Your Majesty," said Toad, "this is Mario and Luigi. I'll tell you their story when we meet. Mario, Luigi, this is Princess Toadstool."

That name sounded so familiar to me but I could not place why.

She curtsied and said, "It is a pleasure to meet you."

I, like an idiot, waved and said, "Hi."

Mario, like a different kind of idiot, took her hand and kissed it and said, "The pleasure is all mine."

Toad made a stern face at him.

"Will you gentlemen be staying with us? And if so, will you be in need of a change of clothes?" the Princess asked.

"I would not deny a change of clothes if you had anything that fit," Mario answered.

"There is a woman who came with them," said Toad, "who will also be in need of a new wardrobe. She is on her way to the medical chamber with a broken leg."  
"Poor girl," said the Princess. "Grayson," she called to a servant, "fetch Toadette. Have her bring her measuring tape, first to the medical chamber and then to the throne room."

"Yes, Your Majesty," said the servant, who happened to be a human.

"If you don't mind, Your Majesty," said Toad, "I'd like to have the general and Toadsworth in the meeting."

"Yes, right, of course," said Princess Toadstool. "Let's go."

She turned and ascended the stairs. We followed.

"I think I'm in love," Mario said quietly to me.

Toad, who obviously heard his comment, punched him in the side with enough force to make Mario grunt.

"What about Scarlett Johannson?" I reminded him.

"I hate to be a heartbreaker," said Mario, "but she'll get over me in time."

The throne room turned out to be just as elegant but far less gaudy than I imagined, based on all my experience watching movies and cartoons. While there was a throne on a dais, the princess chose to sit with us on the comfortable seats that were placed in a circle at the foot of throne. Joining us now were Toadsworth, a bespectacled elderly Kinoko with a bushy white mustache (he was introduced as the Princess' head adviser), and General Starbright, a tall black man in his fifties with a neatly trimmed beard and a perfectly sculpted Afro that made him almost look like a Kinoko.

"We've been invaded. The Koopa are within our borders. Bowser himself is here," Toad began without waiting for formalities. This news aroused gasps and murmurs from those hearing it for the first time. "I was taking my men up to Japes Jungle for a training routine. When we saw it was raining we were about to turn around but then we noticed a light and decided to investigate. There was a battalion of Koopa troopers on the mountain, using the rain as cover."

"How did they get past border patrol?" asked the general.

"Even if, somehow, border patrol was overpowered, why did they not, at least, alert us?" asked Toadsworth.

"The rain cloud," Toad continued, "was not natural. It's some new Koopa technology. It's a weaponised cloud and apparently some sort of air ship. We engaged in a skirmish but the Koopa escaped on the cloud ship. We rescued these humans from them."

"What's the Koopa's interest in the humans?" asked General Starbright.

"They came from the old pipe on the mountain." Toad said.

"I know of no pipe on the mountain," said the general.

"Yes," said Toadsworth, "There's a pipe. Just no key. It's never been opened in my lifetime." He turned curious eyes towards me and Mario.

"The Six Realms had the key all along," said Toad, "until Professor Gadd stole it. The key is the Six Royal National Coins." He turned his eyes to the throne. The Princess and the general also turned their eyes. Then I saw what they were looking at. Above the throne, mounted to the wall, was a scepter. Adorning the top of the scepter was a gold coin - just like the ones from the pipe.

"That's impossible," said the Princess. "The Mushroom Kingdom coin is still here."

"Unless it's a forgery," said Toad. "You know he has the skill. He also has access into the throne rooms."

"Because he's earned the trust of the kings!" Princess Toadstool said defensively. "Why would he steal the coins?"

"If the Coins are the keys, does the pipe open to the Forbidden Realm?" asked the old Kinoko, putting the pieces together. He looked at me. "Are you from another world?"

I nodded. The Princess gasped yet again.

"I'm not following," said the general. "The Forbidden Realm? Like from the fairytales? You're not suggesting it's real, are you? And what do the coins have to do with it?"

"In the old stories," said the Princess, "the Star Sprites gave each king a coin, one sixth of the key to the Forbidden Realm, where the Star Rod is kept. Should the Six Kings agree that their realms are in danger, they could unite their coins, open the portal, and retrieve the Star Rod to use against their oppressors. But as you say, General, they're just fairytales." She looked at Mario and me. "Right?"

"I don't know anything about no Star Rod or Forbidden Realm," said Mario. "All I know is one minute I'm walking into a pipe in my world and the next moment falling out of it in this world, only to be attacked by a bunch of giant turtles. I also know that the coins do apparently make the pipe work and I know that the professor knows all about it. And that if you want any real answers, you'll have to ask him - as I keep telling the Captain."

"Where is he?" asked the Princess.

"Escaped with Donkey Kong," said Mario.

"Who?"

"One of the Japes apes," said Toad. "There's another thing worth mentioning," he continued. "The three humans claim to have been accompanied by a Star Sprite until she vanished into thin air."

"This is ridiculous," said the general. "I don't know what kind of cover up this is supposed to be. I don't know if they're working with the Koopa or trying to hide something else. But Star Sprites, magic rods, and other worlds? I say we keep them in custody and question them _after _we deal with the Koopa invasion - unless of course, they know more about _that_."

"We don't know nothing about nothing!" said a very peeved Mario. "We didn't do anything to anyone and will not be made into prisoners!"

"Where's the coins?" asked Toadsworth.

"The Koopa took them," said Toad.

"Five of them," I corrected. "Rosalina has the other one."

"Who?" asked the general.

"The Star Sprite," answered Captain Toad. The general rolled his eyes.

I could see tears beginning to pool in the Princess' eyes. "Why did Father have to leave?" she said. "I can't do this. I can't rule. I can't make these sort of decisions. The Koopa know I can't. That's why they've invaded now - now that Father's not here. How are going to protect the people? I can't do this! Father would be so ashamed of me!" She was sobbing now.

Suddenly a flood of memories overtook me.

"No, Peach," I said, " Your father is very proud of you. He left you in charge because he knew you could handle it. He knew the Koopa would invade. He knew you'd be strong enough. And he misses you dearly."

All eyes were on me.

"What did you call me?" asked the Princess.

"Peach." I answered.

"Where did you hear that name? Only my Father calls me that."

"I met with him," I said. "I remember now. Several months ago. At Gadd's hideout. I think I might have even died for him."


	8. Chapter 8

**CHAPTER 8: POWER****STARS**

I awoke to the tantalizing smell of fresh coffee. I love it when I prepare the coffee in advance and set the timer. The payoff is so rewarding. You know what they say - the best part of waking up…well, it's not Folgers. Not for me. I prefer…..

Aaahh! I finally opened my eyes and realized with a start that this was not my bedroom. That coffee was not from my coffee pot. Which means that all that stuff really did happen yesterday. It wasn't a dream.

"Same thing happened to me when I opened my eyes," said Mario. He must've heard me yell. He was standing at the window, looking out, sipping from a mug. He was freshly showered and wearing one of the fluffy white robes with the silver mushroom on the breast that Toadette gave us last night while we waited for our new clothes. I was still in my boxers and undershirt.

"Where's the coffee?" I asked, sitting up in my bed which was just across from Mario's.

"I think I saw something last night." Mario said, still looking out the window.

"That's nice. Where's the coffee?"

"I can't be sure because it was dark."

"The coffee's dark? Good. Where is it?"

"It might have been one of those cloud things. Not like the big one but the little ones that they threw us in."

"Mario! Coffee! Where's the coffee?!"

"What? Oh. Over there. Behind the Koopa cage."

The guest room we were staying in was just as luxurious as all the other rooms I've seen so far in the castle, with tall ceilings and windows and exotic furnishings. There was even a large bamboo cage that housed a pet Koopa. One of the little ones with the bird heads like I saw in the sewers in New York. Grayson explained the difference in Koopas when he showed us our room. I saw the coffee pot and mugs and poured myself a cup. Nope, this was not Folgers. But why would it be? I was in a different world.

"You think you saw one of the cloud things?" I asked, now able to concentrate with a cup of coffee in my hand.

"I'm not sure. It could have just been fog or mist. But if it was one of those cloud things, it was hovering around the upper floor windows across the courtyard."

"You think they're spying on the castle? Looking for weaknesses to exploit?"

"Could be. Could be looking for us," Mario said.

"I don't think we're that important."

"The people here think we are. Otherwise they would have let us go."

"Where would we go? We need 6 coins to open the pipe. We have zero," I pointed out.

"I'm just saying we're more important to the people of this world than you keep making us out to be."

"Well, did you tell anyone what you saw? And how come you didn't wake me up?"

"Because I wasn't sure. Like I said, it was dark. It might have been nothing."

"You seem to be taking all this in stride" I said.

"All what?"

"All of this. Coming into a new world. Fighting real life monsters. Getting saved by Mushroom people. Sleeping in a castle…"

"Don't forget finding out your brother lived two lives simultaneously for a few days. I still can't wrap my head around that."

"Either can I. But those memories are real. I think. I mean how else would I know about Peach's dad?"

"Super weird, for sure. Kinda reminds me of that book by Delorean Jones. Novella. Remember that one?"

"You and that book! That book made no sense."

"And this does?!" Mario said. "Nothing here makes sense! How is it everyone speaks English? Did you ever think about that?"

"Yeah, that's weird," I agreed. "That reminds me, why did you call those Koopas Ninja Turtles? Did you think they would get the joke?"

"Oh, like you have the right to analyze my humor," he said.

"Where you trying to be like Iron Man in The Avengers? When he called that one alien Squidward?" I asked. "You realize Tony Stark said that for the sake of the viewing audience. Which you do not have."

"You're just jealous you didn't think of it first."

"Ha!"

Mario left the window and sat on his bed.

"So, what's it like dying?" he asked.

"Like I said last night, I don't remember anything about being dead. Just getting killed. And that was scary, I'll tell you what! I was in that creepy mansion, doing something for the king. Looking for something, I think. And then this creepy lady in a dark cloak sicked her ghost dog on me. I ran out of the house. That...that hellhound chased me out the door to the edge of the cliff - which I didn't see because it was night. I ran right over the edge. They say everything goes in slow motion when you think you're gonna die. And it did. I thought about all sorts of stuff in those few seconds. About how we never found Mama. About how I didn't get to say goodbye to you or Papa T. I thought about dumb stuff. Like how impressed everyone would have been if I got the chance to show them my baking skills."

"Your baking skills?"

"Yeah. I was seconds from death. I didn't think I'd get the chance to bake again. But I guess I did. In this life. So, are you impressed?"

"Yeah, yeah, you're pretty good."

"Pretty good?!"

"No, you're good. I'm impressed."

"You're just patronizing me. Do you even remember the first cake that I made when I started baking again? What flavor was it?"

"It was…I can't remember right now. There was a lot going on then. But I remember liking it."

"Yeah, well, when I was falling to my death, I imagined it would have been a big deal to everyone. You know what else I thought about when I was falling?"

I knew I shouldn't say what I was about to say but at the moment I was feeling pretty frustrated about the unfairness of life. So I said it. "I thought about Pauline."

"Pauline? Why?"

Sometimes Mario could be so clueless.

"I don't know. Who's to say why we think about certain things before we die. And then I hit the ground. And it hurt really bad for like a tenth of a second. That's all I remember."

"And then you woke up in the sewer?"

"No. Not exactly. It's very hard to explain. Like I said last night, it's like time split when I chased Donkey Kong into the sewer. In one timeline, I went into the pipe, ran into the Professor (who was not at all happy that I was there), ate a green mushroom (that apparently did nothing), then the Professor reluctantly recruited me for some quest of his (which I think I failed at), at some point I met the King, and then I ran off a cliff and died. In the other life, I'm running through the sewers one moment and then all of a sudden I'm dazed and confused - like when you walk into a room and forget why you're there. And that's when you found me."

"What if it wasn't a separate life you were living?" suggested Mario. "What if it was a vision. A premonition."

"What? Like I'm some sort of a psychic or something?"

"Yeah."

"Huh. I never thought of that."

"Right?"

"Now wait a minute. That's not a good thing. That means my death is still to come! I don't want to die!"

"You won't. Because I'm with you."

"Hey now, if it _was_ a vision of things to come, where were you?"

"It doesn't matter because I'm with you now."

"I don't know. I don't think psychic powers work like that."

"Like what?"

"Like showing half truths."

"What do you know about psychic powers?" He questioned.

"What do _you _know about psychic powers?" I countered.

"What does it matter? All I know is you're not gonna die. Because I'm with you. I'm not gonna let you die. We're going to do what Toadsworth suggested. We're going to drive around the Kingdom after breakfast and try to jog your memory or premonition or whatever it is. Then we're going to use your info to find the king and the professor and see if he can't figure out how to get you back before war breaks out here."

"To get _me_ back? What about you?"

"I want to stick around a little. See if I can help."

"What! You want to send me back alone?"

"No. With Daisy."

"And how do you expect to help an alien world in a war against a bunch of monsters? You're a _plumber!"_

"No, Luigi, I told you. We're more than that. We're important here. We're like superheroes when we eat their mushrooms and flowers and stuff. If we could find some of those, maybe I can help them."

"So, what, you think Destiny brought you here? Like you're here for some greater purpose? Like the Blues Brothers - on a mission from God?" I asked. This was actually kinda what I was feeling but couldn't bring myself to say. I thought I'd put the words in his mouth and see how he responded.

"Well, I don't know. I didn't actually think about it in those terms," he said, "but yeah, I guess. Why not? Maybe this _is_ all part of a plan. You know, maybe the Universe _did_ bring me for a special purpose. It's possible, right?"

"_You?!_ Why's it always gotta be about you, huh?" I asked. "Technically speaking, _I _have more experience with the power-ups or whatever you call them. Why do you think you are here for a reason and not me?"

"I didn't say that. Your purpose was to get us here and now it's to show the way with your magic memory."

"Then why send me back?"

"So you don't die!"

"I can take care of myself, Mario!"

A knock at the door interrupted our argument.

"Are you decent?" a small, feminine voice asked from the other side of the door.

I wasn't decent.

"Come in," Mario said to my horror.

The door opened and Toadette entered.

I stood behind the Koopa cage to partially hide my indecency. When the Koopa snapped its beak though, I backed up a step. Wouldn't want anything getting chomped off.

Toadette looked to be about seventeen years old and wore a dark pink dress that matched with the dark pink spots on her topper. Like many of the Kinoko Zoku women I've seen so far, she had extensions that, though made of the same mushroomy material of the topper, gave the impression of hair. Hers in particular gave the impression of ponytails since each one dangled three mushroom-balls long. I did not know if it was a cosmetic attachment or something that actually grew from the topper. She was carrying a pile of folded clothes.

"Hey guys," she said in a squeaky, chipper voice, "I brought your new clothes. At least the first set. Are you excited? You should be. Yay! I had a blast trying to replicate the style of your world. I know, I could have just patched up your old clothes - and I will later, but I wanted to try my hand at making something I've never made before. I hope you like it. Here, look."

She set the pile on a chair and held up a pair of red overalls.

"You were both wearing these pants things with the chest piece and the built-in suspenders so I assumed this is what the men wear in your world?"

Before we could answer, she continued.

"I didn't have any denim lying around. I'll have to order some. But this is an equally sturdy material. This one is yours, Mario. Red. Like the shirt you had on yesterday. And here's your new shirt. There's a cold front coming through, so I made it with long sleeves. And I just love the way brown goes with red."

This girl talked a mile a minute. And, in my opinion, the brown shirt looked pretty awful with the red overalls.

"And Luigi, these are yours," she said, holding up a pair of white overalls this time. Great! Now I could look like a painter.

"And this green shirt," she said. "Same color as your other one but more durable stock. I just love how you two dress so similar. Kinda like twinsies. So fun! Wait, _are_ you related?"

"Twinsies," Mario said.

"Perfect! Oh, and your hats are downstairs on the hat rack. Mario, yours is washed. But Luigi, I had to make you a new one. Yours was pretty beat up. I made you a white one. You know, to match your pants. Also, check this out - you'll both be excited about this - I brought you some new underwear. I bet it'll feel great to get into some new underwear! Sorry we didn't have any available last night."

She held up a pair of tighty-whities that had the silver mushroom crest on the butt. She then turned to me and noticed the underwear I was wearing. The cage and little koopa wasn't a great barrier.

"Oh," she said. "I guess you don't wear this kind of underwear in your world. Give it a try. Who knows - you might like it better. It'll probably keep everything more snug than those shorts of yours. And I have one more thing. Since I couldn't sleep last night, thinking about how we have visitors from another world - I can't believe you are actually from another world! - I made these."

She beamed as she took two plush dolls from her purse. The dolls looked like me and Mario. This girl had too much time on her hand. And too much energy. It wasn't natural. She tossed the dolls to each of us for examination. Before we could express our thoughts on the dolls, she rambled on again at her usual high pace.

"I have so many questions. What's your world like? Are there Kinokos there? Toad tells me he doesn't think so. If not, do you think people would look at me funny if I went there? Is it similar to this world? What's the weather like? Oh no! I didn't think about that. I just made you long sleeve shirts but I never thought about if you felt temperature the same way we do. Are you human? Do you call yourselves that? That's what we call the people that look like you here. Oh silly me. I'm doing it again. I'm talking too much, aren't I? Some people think I talk too much. And I am not supposed to take long because breakfast is almost ready. The Princess explicitly told me not to make you late for breakfast. Do you know how to get to the dining hall? It's just down the stairs, through the foyer, and straight back. You can't miss it. Just follow your nose. Okay, I better go now. See you downstairs. Oh, they said breakfast will be ready at 8. Ta ta!" And just like that, the little whirlwind was gone.

Fifteen minutes later, I was showered and dressed in my silly white overalls. I grabbed the minish cap mushrooms that I was still hesitant to try, and headed down for breakfast.

The dining hall had a number of tables, seated at which were all the people I saw around the castle yesterday. Mario and I were saved a spot at the table with the Princess, Captain Toad, and Toadsworth. The General was not present. Peach looked haggard. She had dark rings around her eyes. Her hair was messy. She still had on the same clothes as last night but over it she wore a lavender colored hooded sweatshirt with the word PRINCESS scrawled across the front. Tongue in cheek, I assumed.

"Did you sleep last night?" Mario asked her as we took our seats.

"There was too much to do. We had to alert the entire kingdom about the invasion and have them prepare to evacuate to shelters. We had to set up new shelters because we didn't have enough for everyone. General Starbright has been readying troops. We have people searching the skies for mysterious cloud formations. Unfortunately, it's been a cloudy night. Some storms are supposed to pass through today. I think they waited for a stormy day to invade. But we've been taking leads all night and morning from people who think maybe they saw something. We also have a couple blimps circling the kingdom, looking for anything suspicious.

"Besides all that, we reached out to the Prime Minister of Sarasaland. They're sending forces over to help. Oh, and me and Toad interviewed the Border Patrol Chief and some of his men. At first he didn't want to talk. But when his men started squealing, he spilled the beans. So get this. He claims he's been having dreams lately. Dreams of the Maker visiting him and telling him that _letting the Koopa in was the right thing_. That it would save the world in the end. He knew we wouldn't understand, he said. His men tell me he's never shown any signs of insanity. I'm really surprised. He's really lost it. He just let the Koopa in and ordered his men not to tell us. What is going on in this kingdom?!

"And then, as if that wasn't enough for one night, we wasted a ton of time debating over my safety and where I should be today. And I don't care what they think they decided. I'm going with you guys."

She looked at me now.

"If there's even the slightest chance that you'll remember something about where my father might be, I'm not going to miss that."

"So, here's what I don't understand," said Mario, "Why did the Koopa even need to be let in? Can't the cloud ship just fly over unnoticed?"

"It occurred to us late last night that maybe they did just fly over and unload their forces on the mountain. But when we started interrogating, we learned they _walked _in," said the Princess.

"The General had a theory on that," said Toadsworth. "He believes they were meant to be found eventually. They were the diversion. Draw the army and Castle Guard to the fight and surprise attack with the cloud ship somewhere else less protected. Probably the power station or someplace with a lot of power stars."

"Power stars?" I asked.

Before anyone could answer, I noticed the Princess gaze over my shoulder. I turned to see Daisy being wheeled in. She was in a wheelchair that supported her broken leg. She was wearing a stunning, intricate, yellow gown. Like Peach's it seemed to bear some Victorian influence and some eastern influence. But unlike Peach's, the eastern influence seemed more Indian than Chinese or Japanese. She wore one brown boot and one thigh-high cast. Her Kinoko nurse rolled her to the head of our table, just to the right of me.

"How are you?" I asked her, trying pleasantries rather than asking why she sold me out to Bowser.

"Better," she said simply.

"Food is served," someone called from the serving table.

"I'll get you a plate," I offered Daisy.

"Already taken care of," said Grayson, the human butler who just showed up with a plate of eggs, bacon, biscuits, and fruit. He set the plate before her.

"Thank you," she said to him. She nodded at me. I think that was sort of a thank you as well. Everyone else, including the Princess was forming a line at the serving table. I joined them.

A few minutes later, when everyone was eating and talking, Daisy seemed to have opened up more. She was asking all the same sort of questions me and Mario were asking each other since last night. I deemed the time to be appropriate and removed the little, bluish, long-stemmed minish cap mushrooms from my pocket.

"Do you know what these are, Daisy?" I asked.

"They look like mushrooms," she said.

"Do you know what kind of mushrooms?"

"Should I?"

"Is there any reason you can think of why I should not try them?"

"I don't know," she said. "Are they poisonous? Why are you asking me about them?"

"They're not poisonous," Peach offered. "We eat those all the time."

I handed one to Daisy.

"I offered these to you last night on the mountain and you refused them, saying 'not the small ones or the purple ones.' Does that mean anything to you?"

I could tell something clicked. She stared at the mushroom. She gasped suddenly and dropped it. She turned her eyes to several different Kinoko, studying them as if looking for answers.

"I think I've been here before," she said.

This caused a shock-wave if surprise.

"Me too!" I said.

"When I was a little girl," she said.

"What? Really?" I asked.

"I remember being taught about the mushrooms. Not to eat the small ones or the purple ones. And I remember...your type of people," she said to Toad.

"Who?" asked Toad. " Who taught you about the mushrooms?"

"I'm not sure. A man, I think? My dad maybe?"

"Who's your dad? And how did _he_ get here?" I asked.

"I don't know. I don't know him. I can't even hardly remember him. I grew up as a foster child."

"Maybe she should come with us too," I suggested to the Princess.

"But her leg…" she responded.

"I agree with Luigi," said Toadsworth, "Who knows what sort of information she has hidden in her mind about - what do you even call it? - trans-dimensional travel? Until yesterday, I was not convinced it was even possible. If others have been coming into our world since she was a lass without us knowing, well that has me concerned for our nation's safety. We need to find out everything we possibly can."

"Our nation's safety is already compromised and with more immediate threats than that," said the Princess, "but you're right. Daisy, are you feeling up to riding in a car?"

"If you guys are looking for Professor Gadd, I'm not staying here!"

After breakfast, those of us who would be taking the hopeful tour through memory lane, took the elevator to the basement-level garage. But not before Toadette came over and reminded me and Mario about our hats. _Gee, thanks Toadette. Wouldn't want to forget those. _Toad again tried to urge the Princess to stay in the safety of the castle but in the end she proved to be more persistent than him. Toadsworth stayed behind to manage the castle in her stead. Five Kinoko Palace Guards joined our caravan to protect the Princess. They would take one car while Toad, me, Mario, Daisy, and Princess Peach would take the other. The vehicles looked somewhat reminiscent of old fashioned Rolls Royce convertibles but with more seating. Just as we were getting in the cars, a skinny man wearing jeweler's magnifying glasses on his bald head came running up to us from behind. The palace guard took fighting stances with their glow staffs and crossbow guns.

The man stopped, hands raised, apparently realizing now it was a bad idea to run after the Princess. He was out of breath.

"Oh sorry, Princess," he said, "but I'm glad I caught you before you left. I thought you'd want to hear my findings ASAP."

"Who are you?" Peach asked.

"Oh right. Doug Bowers. Sorry. You called me to inspect the coin?"

"Oh yes," said the Princess. "What did you find?"

"It's a fake. A forgery. Gold plating over copper."

"I knew it!" Toad said excitedly.

The Princess was crestfallen. "Thank you," she said sadly and crawled into the back seat.

Doug looked sorry for bringing such bad news and walked away.

"This means that Toad is probably right," Peach said, "Gadd is probably up to something nefarious. And if Father is mixed up with him...I'm scared. Do you think Gadd is holding my father captive? Do you remember anything that might indicate that, Luigi?"

"I'm sorry. Not really," I said. "I just know they were together and in some secret lab or something. He could have been. Or not. I can't remember."

Daisy looked just as pained as Princess Peach. She really respected the Professor. To find out someone you care for has been lying about who they were the whole time you've known them has got to be hard.

The rest of us got in the car. Captain Toad would drive. Mario made sure to sit with the Princess. I sat across from them with Daisy who put a pillow under the foot that was in a cast. Being in the limo reminded of my ride with the gangsters just yesterday. Man, that seemed so long ago!

We entered a long, underground tunnel that led us into Mushroom City. No magic pipes this time. The city roads were heavily congested, most likely with people evacuating to shelters. It was surreal how quiet the roads were, regardless of the traffic, due to the nearly silent vehicles everyone drove.

Even in the tainted light of a cloudy day, I was able to see so much more detail in the city than I did in the dark of night. The colors in this place really made the city feel alive.

Something caught Daisy's eye. I followed her gaze and saw a staircase made of floating brick platforms. Nothing supported each stair. Not even the railing. Did I really just see that? Or was the supports just hidden? And then there was another one on the side of another building. And then a brick walkway floating over the highway for pedestrians who wanted to cross. And a brick framed traffic light supported by neither pole nor wire.

"How is that just sitting there in mid-air?" I asked pointing at the traffic light.

"What, you don't have stativus clay in your world?" asked Toad.

"What kind of clay?" I asked.

"Stativus clay is what the floating mountains are made of," said Peach. "You can form the clay into bricks. When you apply the right amount of heat, it stays in place."

My mind was blown!

We ascended a hill outside of the metropolitan area. Here I could see just how mountainous this land was. In the distance I could see the forest made out of giant mushrooms. I'd like to go there should the opportunity arise.

Mario took the plush mini-Mario out of his pocket to show Princess Peach.

"I can't believe you brought that," I said.

"Why not? It's cool. I like it," said Mario, cheerfully. He wiggled it in front of my face and said, "It's me - I'm Mario." He was trying to annoy me.

"Toadette is very talented," Peach said.

It was hard to believe we were in a land on the verge of war as I watched my brother try to flirt with a pretty girl while we drove through some of the most beautiful sights I've ever seen in a convertible limousine, cool autumn air blowing on our faces. I supposed I should have felt more trepidation, all things considered, but honestly, I was unusually content. I was actually smiling a genuine smile. It had been a while, I think, since the last time I did that.

We had an actual destination we were heading to on this lovely drive. As soon as I mentioned a ghost dog last night, the committee looked at one another with knowing eyes. They informed Mario and I that a couple unexplained deaths and a few supposed sighting of the paranormal had led to an outbreak of rumors that ended up causing a mass exodus from a particular town called Evershade Valley. Perhaps we'd find answers there. They also hoped the other sites on the way would stir up my memory too. So far they hadn't.

The drive was long and winding and the tired Princess eventually dozed off, her head landing on Mario's shoulder - to his unabashed delight. What a dork! An hour into the drive, Toad told us to wake her up. We were entering the valley.

I could tell why it was called Evershade Valley. Large oak trees with hanging moss created gorgeous canopies over most of the streets. This place could be a cute little town if it weren't for the creepiness of the empty streets, overgrown weeds, and abandoned, vandalized houses. Nothing seemed familiar to me though. Until I noticed a cliff at the far side of town. I asked if we could take a closer look. We found a road that took us up the mountain to the shelf at the top of the cliff.

"I think this is the place." I said.

We stopped the vehicles and all of us but Daisy got out to look around.

"I thought you said there was a mansion here," said Mario.

Not only was there no mansion, there was no anything up here. Just a few naked trees. In the distance, at the back of the shelf, the mountain extended upward another hundred feet or so. At the top of it was a lighthouse.

"I don't know why there's no mansion here but I'm pretty sure this is the place. I remember that lighthouse. I remember this cliff edge. I even remember those creepy trees."

"But if there's no mansion," said Mario, "this must be the wrong place."

"No, no. This is it. This is definitely the place."

"Is anything else coming to you?" asked the Princess. "Anything about…"

"Gadd!" Daisy yelled.

We turned to look at her. She was pointing to the top of the mountain and the lighthouse. A figure was standing at the edge looking down at us. He was startled by Daisy's yell and ran out of sight.

"Was that Gadd?" Mario asked.

"That was Professor Gadd. I'm sure of it," said Daisy.

"I think it was too," said Peach.

"After him!" Captain Toad ordered his soldiers. They rushed back into their car. We were rushed into ours. We drove to the base of the mountain and ascended the stone cut stairs. Again, Daisy stayed in the car. I think she could see the aggression in Toad's eyes. She cried out for him not to harm Gadd. He gave no reply.

The Kinokos ran much faster than us humans and were at the top of the stairs before I was even halfway. In fact, I had to stop and catch my breath. I could really use one of those mushrooms right about now. When I did reach the top, I saw there wasn't much up there but the lighthouse itself. Beyond it and far below, was an ocean.

I heard several voices yelling from the inside of the lighthouse. But more importantly, I saw a red topped mushroom growing at the base of the structure. Before my brain could tell my body to move, Mario plucked it up.

"What?" asked Mario. "You already have some."

"Some that might kill me if I eat them!" I said.

"Come on," urged Peach, pushing us toward the door of the lighthouse.

We took the circular staircase to the crowded top floor. Professor Gadd was up against the wall with raised hands. The palace guard had staffs and crossbows aimed at him. In the middle of the small room was what looked like a small, floating sun. It was just like the one Gadd used in the sewer to make himself radiate energy. The floor was cut out below it, probably to give light to the rest of the tower. Turning mechanically around the little sun was a large, curved mirror, obviously used to reflect light out into the ocean.

"Princess, please," Gadd pleaded when he saw her. But she did not have the Kinokos stand down.

"When did you steal the Royal National Coins?" Toad demanded.

"Never!" cried the Professor.

"Who are you working for?" spit Toad.

"Where's my father?!" an angry Princess Peach interrupted.

"Safe," Gadd said.

"You were obviously running," said Toad. "Why into the lighthouse? Why trap yourself?"

"I know why." I said.

Toad turned to me.

"That," I said, pointing to the little sun.

"The Power Star?" Toad asked.

"It makes him powerful when he touches it. He could have fought you off if he got to it. I saw him do it," I said.

"That's impossible," said Toad. "It would burn his hand off."

"I saw him do it." I said again.

"You also saw a mansion outside," he countered.

"I don't care why you ran in here," said Peach. "Tell me where my father is!"

"Help!" a distant female voice cried.

"Daisy!" Mario said, alarmed.

Several of us ran down the stairs. As we exited the lighthouse, we could see a small grey cloud just to the side of the car Daisy was in. A short Koopa was wrestling her out of the car. It was that captain they called Lakitu.

"Daisy, catch!" Mario yelled as loud as he could. He threw the mushroom over the edge. Amazingly, it almost made it to her. She bit the Koopas fingers and threw herself to the ground. She grabbed the mushroom just as Lakitu pulled her back up. She took a bite. I wasn't sure what good it would do. She still had a broken leg. Lakitu threw her into his cloud.

Mario reached into my chest pocket, pulled out the minish caps, and shoved them all in his mouth. By now several of the Kinoko were charging down the stairs to the scene below. The cloud started to lift.

I heard Mario yell. When I turned to him, all I could see where his empty clothes falling to the ground. Mario was gone.


	9. Chapter 9

**CHAPTER 9: LUIGI'S MANSION **

"Mario!" I screamed to the crumpled pile of clothes that occupied the space my brother stood only seconds ago. I was afraid of eating those mushrooms because - worst case scenario - they might make me terminally ill. I didn't fathom they'd do this - instantly disintegrate the body! How could this be happening? How could my brother be dead? He wasn't supposed to let things like this happen. He's Mario.

"Luigi!" I heard Mario's voice cry from a great distance away. "Where are you?"

He was alive! The mushrooms must have warped his body to another location.

"Over here!" I yelled to the air, unable to tell which direction his distant voice was coming from. As I scanned the horizon, I noticed Lakitu's cloud had stopped about thirty feet above the ground. Good. At least it wasn't gone.

"Where are _you_?" I shouted back to my unseen brother.

"I'm under a collapsed tent or something," he said. "You sound close. You should see it. My clothes are missing. I'm…" he trailed off.

Why did he think I sounded close when, to me, he sounded far off? I noticed a lump moving under Mario's clothes. A tiny head poked out from the neck of Mario's shirt.

"Mario?" I asked, amazed.

"I'm tiny!" he cried, just realizing it. Based on the size of his head, I guessed he was about six inches tall.

"Stay here. We'll figure this out," I said, "but right now I have to help Daisy."

I ran to the door of the lighthouse just as Toad was escorting Gadd out. Gadd's hands were bound behind his back.

"Daisy's in trouble. Will I burn my hand off if I touch that power star?" I asked the Professor.

"No," he said simply.

"He's lying. Don't listen to him," said Toad.

I ran up the curved stairs and stopped at the blazing sphere of light. There was a chance the Professor was lying. He'd apparently been lying about a lot of stuff. Well, if Mario was brave enough to risk eating those little mushrooms for Daisy's sake, I could be brave enough too. I reached my hand into the mini sun. The orb disappeared as my body absorbed its power. I could feel that power coursing through my every cell. My whole body illuminated as bright as the star itself had. I felt invincible.

I considered jumping over the railing that protected people from falling through the hole in the floor but then reconsidered it. Just because I felt invincible didn't necessarily mean I was. I ran down the stairs. The door was cracked open still. I barged out. To my surprise, my enhanced strength blasted the door off its hinges and sent it soaring through the air. Maybe I was as powerful as I felt after all. No more stairs! I front flipped off the top of the mountain without fear. This felt right. I was unstoppable. Lakitu, you messed with the wrong people!

I landed like an atom bomb, energy dispersing out from me in all directions. I ran and jumped, using one of the limos as a platform to propel myself up to the cloud. The power of my stomp nearly flattened the front end of the vehicle. I flew up towards the cloud, ready to take down my enemy. Finally, I was somebody. Finally I mattered. Finally I would stand on my own, outside of Mario's shadow.

I landed in the cloud with teeth gritted. What a frightening and imposing sight I must have been. Only no one was there to see me. The cloud was empty. What? Where? I thought…. Suddenly my awesome power faded away and I felt weak and terrified of falling thirty feet from the cloud.

"Luigi, down here," Daisy called.

I risked peaking my head over the edge. Far below me I could see Daisy standing on her cast as if her leg was not broken. Lakitu was sprawled face first in the dirt. Standing on his head was a tiny Mario, somehow fully clothed.

As I scooted back from the edge, I accidentally hit the cloud's control pad with my hand, causing the cloud to disintegrate. Before I could get a hold of the pad to try to reverse my mistake, I fell through the cloud, screaming.

Something tiny slammed against my heel with enough force to reverse my momentum and flip me in a forward roll. I landed safely on my back. The air was knocked from my lungs but I was alive and pretty sure nothing was broken.

Mini Mario walked over to my face.

"You OK, little bro?" he asked.

All I could do was gasp for air. I couldn't even say, "Who you calling little?"

A Kinoko guard offered me his hand and helped me up but I still couldn't catch my breath.

"Are you Ok?" asked Daisy.

Still gasps were the only noise I could make.

"Mario saved my life," Daisy said. "That mushroom he tossed me gave me enough strength to fight off that creature. And then he shows up and kicks it off the cloud."

"Turns out I can jump really high like this," said Mario. "I'm really strong too. I'm like AntMan."

"We were both strong enough to jump down," said Daisy.

"Looks like he saved your life too," said a Kinoko who was just now approaching, carrying Mario's clothes and hat.

Finally I caught my breath. Peach, Toad, and the others were just now showing up.

"What happened to you?" the Princess asked Mario.

"Where did you get those clothes?" I added.

"It was those little blue mushrooms Luigi had," he answered Peach. "They shrunk me. No wonder Daisy was warned not to eat them as a child. Can you imagine keeping an eye on your child when she's as small as a Smurf and can jump this high?"

Mario did not appear to be overly concerned about his new size. Things never bothered him the way they bothered me. Who's to say if it would even wear off? I'd be pulling my hair out in worry.

"But where did you get the clothes?" I asked again.

"Took 'em off the plush doll," he said, proud of his quick thinking. Even at six inches, he was able to stand tall. Amazing! Even at six inches, his shadow still engulfed me.

"You destroyed the car," Toad said to me. "Not exactly sure how we're going to get back with our prisoner."

"Those were some pretty sweet moves, little bro," said Mario. "Was that from the power star thing?"

I nodded.

"So you actually did it?" said the Princess. "You touched the star? That's why you were so radiant? How did you not get burned? And is the power gone now? Or can you harness it at will?"

"No," I said. "The power is definitely gone. I don't know why it didn't burn and I don't know how it works. The Professor is the person you should be asking."

"I'll tell you all about it," Professor Gadd said, "and I'll take you to your father. If you let me go. Have Captain Toad and the others take the Koopa into custody. Question him. I'm sure you already know, the Koopa have crossed our borders. Let me go and I'll take you and Daisy and the brothers to see your father."

"Who are you to order the Princess?" said Toad. "You are a criminal and a traitor!"

"Deal," said Peach.

"What!" exclaimed Toad. "No, Princess. He's just trying to save his neck. You can't trust him. We don't even know if your father is still alive. Who knows what he has planned for you?"

"Who are you to order the Princess?" said Peach, sternly. "And how dare you suggest that the King might be dead. He is _not _dead! Do what the Professor said. There's not enough vehicles for us all to get back anyhow." Then looking at Gadd, she asked, "How will we get to wherever it is we're going?"

"It's not far. We can walk. I'll show you when they are out of sight."

"Undo his bonds," ordered the Princess.

"You're making a mistake, Princess," Toad warned. "I'm not saying that just because it's my job to protect you. I care about you, Your Majesty. I've already lost your father."

"Gadd," said the Princess, "Tell me my father is alive."

"Of course he is."

"Tell me we will be free to go after we see him and that he will leave with us."

"You will never be anything other than free and can do whatever you wish, whenever you wish - just like the King."

"Undo his bonds," she said again. Toad reluctantly complied.

Gadd put out his hand towards Toad as if he was expecting something.

"What?" asked Toad peevishly.

"You took my flashlight. I want it back."

Toad looked to the Princess.

"Give him his flashlight." She seemed to be getting impatient, knowing as soon as the children were done squabbling, she could see her father.

Toad handed over the small, black flashlight.

Just then a distorted voice emanated from the body of Lakitu. "Lieutenant Lakitu," the voice said, "this is Ensign Reznor. Do you copy?"

One of the Kinokos rolled Lakitu onto his side. The voice sounded again.

"I repeat. This is Ensign Reznor. Lieutenant Lakitu, do you copy?"

The voice was coming from the small cube-shaped communicator on his belt that he used the last time I saw him. A Kinoko guard removed the cube. In the light, I could see it had speakers on all but the two sides where the talk buttons were.

"Well that'll come in handy," said Toad, hardly believing his luck.

"There," said Gadd, "you've got two prizes - both infinitely more valuable than me. That should make you happy, right?"

"You're free today," said Toad, "but that's it. I'm coming for you as soon as the Princess is done with you."

"I can't wait." Gadd smiled at the captain of the guard.

"I'll call you if I need anything," said the Princess to Toad. "You should probably get going."

Lakitu's arms and legs were bound and he was placed in the car. As we stood on the edge of the cliff and watched them drive away, the Princess turned to the Professor.

"What were you doing out here?" she asked.

"Installing a camera on the lighthouse," he said. "If an invasion from the sea happens, I want to be able to warn the castle. It was your Father's idea, actually. But the camera was supposed to be powered by the power star. Guess I'll have to wire it up to a power moon when I get time."

"Why did you leave?" Daisy asked him. "How come you didn't say anything? And how come you never said anything about this place? The very day you left, I told you I felt like there had to be more to life than what I could see. You wanna know why I felt like that? I know now. I grew up here. In this world. As a kid."

"You what?" he said, astonished. But then he shook off the distraction. "We'll have time to talk about all this when we get to the safe house."

Gadd turned on his flashlight and started aiming here and there as if he was trying to find something. Odd. Sure, it was cloudy but it wasn't dark. And there wasn't anything up here but a few dead trees. The light illuminated something that was previously invisible. Old wood siding. The wood was wet and dripping as if rain was hitting it. But it wasn't raining. He moved his flashlight to the right. As he did so, new parts of the otherwise invisible structure became visible. Only what was in the light of the flashlight could be seen. We could now see old stairs leading up to a tall double door. The walls and stairs and door all appeared to be getting rained on. This was a house of some kind. No...not just a house.

"This is it!" I cried. "This is the mansion! I told you guys it was here!"

"How do you know about this place?" asked Gadd, suspicious as ever of me and Mario. He obviously hated not having all the answers.

"I've been here before," I said. "Wait! Are you taking us in there? I'm not going in there!"

"Now listen up, everybody," Gadd said, "going through here is the only way to get to the safe house. It can be dangerous. But only if you don't follow my rules. There are poltergeists in this house. They can harm you. But they will not approach anyone who looks at them. When we get inside, we need to form a circle. Each of us needs to look a different direction. If you see a poltergeist, do not be afraid. Do not divert your eyes. It is the only way we'll be safe. They will not approach you if your eyes are on them. If one of the ghosts are blocking a door, just follow my instructions. I'll tell you what to do at the time. Luigi, hold the flashlight. I'll go first. Try not to create shadows. Whatever is not in the light, does not exist. I don't want you dropping me through the stairs. Once you guys are in the door, you won't have to worry about the flashlight. At least, not for seeing. Everything will be real. More real than you probably want it to be."

"I'm in a cast," said Daisy. "I'm not sure I can do this."

"You don't seem to _need_ to be in a cast," said the Professor. "You ate the mushroom. Rip it off."

Daisy incredulously, reached her fingers into the cast and pulled in opposite directions. To her surprise, it ripped in two. She easily slipped out of it and took off the shoe of her other foot.

Gadd handed me the flashlight. I shined it according to his directions and he limped up the stairs, opened the door, and stepped in. Without turning his eyes from the room, he called for us to join him. The girls moved hesitantly up the stairs and joined Gadd. Tiny Mario bound once and landed on the Princess' shoulder which startled her.

Gadd then instructed me to toss the flashlight to one of the girls and grab Mario's clothes. Daisy shined the light, making the stairs real for me. I could feel the cracks on the stairs where my shoes blocked the light.

As soon as I stepped into the lobby, I saw about a dozen translucent figures, glowing softly at various points in space, bearing the forms of both human and kinoko zoku. They all floated there, nearly frozen, with menacing eyes staring, it seemed, right at me. I panicked and tried to run back out the door but it slammed shut of its own accord. Gadd was yelling something to me but I wasn't paying attention. I dropped Mario's clothes and ran to the nearest open door which was across the room.

In the corner of my eye, I could see all twelve ghosts charge after me at a slightly faster speed than I could run. Something hit me from behind, slamming me against a large pillar. It took me a moment to realize I was still alive and another moment still before I wondered why. And then I heard his voice.

"He said not to take your eyes off them!" Mario scolded me. It was him who pushed me to safety. I turned around, and pressed my back to the pillar. Mario was at my feet staring at all the ghosts who were now only a few feet away.

The Princess squealed as her terrified eyes looked beyond me. I dared peak my head around the pillar to see three more ghosts emerging from the door I was heading for. They froze when they saw my eyes. I also noticed that rain was pelting the windows as if there was a storm outside.

"Come on," Gadd instructed the ladies, "let's siddle against the wall till we get to the door. Daisy, keep your eyes in that direction. Princess, you look over there. I'll watch the middle."

When Gadd noticed I was watching him, he yelled at me to keep my eyes on the new ghosts. Sure enough, in those few seconds they were through the door and almost to my pillar.

Gadd retrieved Mario's discarded clothes and scooted along the wall to the door with Peach and Daisy. He peeked in the door.

"Both of you, walk backwards towards me," he instructed Mario and me. We did as he said and when I came near enough, he handed me Mario's clothes. He held out his unlit flashlight as if it would somehow provide some sort of protection.

We reformed into a circle, with our backs to each other as Gadd led the way into the next room. It was a library with packed bookshelves lining the walls and reaching to the high ceiling. A ghost emerged from the door at the far end and froze at our gaze. More froze at the door we just entered in through.

"Do you remember this room?" Gadd asked me, "Do you remember how to get to the basement?"

"I think so. You pull a book and a door opens. Just like in the movies, right?"

"Do you remember which one?"

"Uh...it was green, I think."

"Yes. It's on your side. Doki Doki Panic. That's the name of the book. Do you see it? Open the door."

We all clumsily moved the direction I was facing. I pulled the book partially out and a portion of the bookshelf swung out towards us on unseen hinges. Behind the hidden door was a large, dark room with a twenty foot drop. Connecting to the top of the door was an upside down staircase with no railing leading up into the darkness of the cavernous room.

"I don't remember this part. There's no floor. What do we do?" I asked.

"Gravity is backwards in there," the Professor said. "There's a bar over your head on the doorframe. Hold on to it and swing onto the stairs."

I held my hand out but couldn't feel the effect of reversed gravity. I tossed Mario's clothes into the room and they seemed to fly upwards and land on the upside down staircase. Convinced enough, I swung on the bar. As soon as my feet swung out into the dark room the new gravity pulled me 180 degrees until I landed on the staircase. Now the others looked upside down to me. Tiny Mario excitedly jumped in next, not bothering with the bar his tiny hands wouldn't be able to grab anyway. The ladies were as hesitant as I was but made the leap safely. Once Gadd entered, he shut the door behind him.

The stairs were now descending rather than ascending - at least from our new perspective. Gadd opted to walk backwards down the stairs to keep an eye on any ghosts that might try to surround us - which was fine with me. I was uncomfortable even walking forward down the stairs without a handrail.

Halfway down a Kinoko spirit blocked our way. We weren't in danger of being attacked by it because our eyes kept it in place but - neither could pass it. Another spirit - this one human - floated to the top of the stairs and froze at Gadd's gaze, blocking our only other exit.

"Uh...What now?" Mario asked.

"Daisy," Gadd said, "let's switch places. Keep your eyes on the poltergeist at the top of the stairs. I'll take care of the one below us."

They carefully switched spots. Gadd, now at the front of the group, turned on his flashlight and aimed it at the ghost. As soon as the light hit it, it raged, screaming and growling with eyes that were now glowing red. Gadd turned the flashlight to the right and the ghost moved with it as if it was stuck to the beam of light.

"Let's go! Everyone down the stairs. Keep your eyes alert," he ordered. He let us shuffle past him while he struggled with the raging spirit caught in his beam. The ghost that was at the top of the stairs took advantage of his back being turned and raced towards him. I saw it and called up to him. He swung his light around and caught the second spirit in his light. But he seemed to be struggling to hold both screaming, flailing specters.

It became evident when we reached the ground level that there were no doors. It was just a large, empty, dusty basement full of the sort of stuff you might expect to see in such a place - boxes and trunks and broken furniture and the like.

"There's nowhere to go!" Princess Peach exclaimed to the Professor.

"Luigi, the picture frame. Don't you remember?" he called to me, irritated.

Oh right! Now I remembered. Leaning against the wall was an upside down, framed painting of the library that we just came from. I turned the picture around. On the back side was a painting of a rainy graveyard in twilight - rightside up. In the center of the graveyard was a warp pipe.

"Ok, it's done," I called to him.

"Hurry up. I don't know how long I can hold them!" I heard genuine panic in his voice. Nobody else knew what was happening and there was no time to explain.

"Come on, guys. Back up the stairs!" I said.

Mario jumped ten feet up the stairs and took the lead. The women followed me. Gadd walked backwards, trying not to lose his grip on the flashlight that was now jerking this way and that as the spirits raged. There was a lever on the backside of the door that I was able to open the door with. When I opened it, Mario and the ladies gasped. No longer did the doorway lead into the library. Beyond the door was a moonlit graveyard caught in a rainstorm.

"The physics in your world don't make any sense!" Mario exclaimed to Peach over the noise of the rain.

"These aren't the physics of my world!" she said.

"Come on," I coaxed.

We all stepped into the rain. When Gadd stepped out, he turned his flashlight off. Immediately the ghosts zipped back and forth faster than I knew they could. Their teeth were exposed menacingly and their eyes red. At least they couldn't move our direction since our eyes were on them. Gadd slammed the door shut. But now, the outside of the door wasn't a bookshelf. It was a wood door on the back of the mansion.

"There's no physics here," Gadd said, addressing Mario's earlier statement, "because we're not in the physical world. This house is supernatural and the laws of spirit supersede the laws of nature. We're almost there. Let's go."

He led us to the warp pipe in the center of the graveyard. Still holding Mario's clothes, I hopped in after the others. We exited the pipe somewhere bright and dry. As I tried to pick myself up from the ground where I landed, I couldn't tell up from down. I was as dizzy as I've ever been and could hardly stand until I finally comprehended what I was looking at. Above me, where the sky should have been was land and water. It was about a quarter mile up and made me feel like I was falling towards it. The landscape above me was a strange mix of desert sand, large translucent boulders in a variety of colors that caught and held the sunlight, and a great shimmering lake with a pink hue that reflected the sunlight down to the surface we were standing on.

Based on the curvature of the surface we stood on, it appeared to be a miniature planet or moon or something. But in the atmosphere, not in space. It was covered in tall grass, cut through with a dirt or clay trail. It looked like we would fall off into the sky if we walked far enough.

"Is this Volbano?" Princess Peach was in awe. "I've always wanted to visit. I didn't know there were any warp pipes that led here."

"Well, as you see, the warp pipe is not very conspicuous. The one that leads to the safe house is just around the bend." Gadd started walking towards the edge.

"Won't we fall off?" I asked.  
"No, Silly! We're on a floating mountain," said Peach. "If you were going to fall off, you would have already. We're on the bottom of it right now."

"So are we or are we not in a supernatural place?" Mario asked.

"No. This is Volbano," said the Princess as if that meant anything to us.

"So we're standing upside down on a floating mountain? Your physics _are_ crazy!"

"It's not crazy," she defended herself. "The mountain's made of stativus. It has a gravitational core. What's so crazy about that?"

"What are you waiting for?" Gadd called back to us.

As we started his direction Mario said to me, "These don't look anything like the floating mountains on Avatar."

I felt dizzy again as the ground above our heads shifted and descended behind us as we walked around the tiny planet. It kind of made me feel like The Little Prince from the famous children's book.

Within minutes, we came to another warp pipe. This one shot us out into a wide pasture that could have been the American northwest if it weren't for the sharply angled mountains in the distance that resembled giant crystals and the assortment of fantastical creatures that scurried or hopped or flew here and there. One group of creatures had some sort of spring legs. Another species appeared to be very similar to deer but with snail shells on their backs. The pastureland had fields of exotic flowers, some occasional large trees, and just before us, a winding stream that ran in front of a two-storied, thatch-roofed cottage.

"This is it," Gadd said to the Princess. "Are you ready to see your father?"

We followed Gadd into the cottage. He seemed to be irritated that the door was partially opened. The front door led us into a small, messy living room. There was a staircase that led to the second floor and an open door leading into what might have been a bedroom. But what caught our attention was the crazed, bearded man standing in front of an open refrigerator in the tiny kitchen just past the living room. There was food all over the floor around his feet and he had what looked like a turkey leg in his mouth. When he saw us, he dropped the turkey leg and hissed at us like an animal protective of its food. All sorts of food was caught in the wild man's beard.

"Father?" Peach asked, alarmed.


End file.
